The Asian vs White Grindr experiment: Why it’s great to be White!

Who doesn’t like being a hot white guy? You’re pretty much a Greek god in the gay community and there really isn’t anybody you can’t get. For others, you often find “no asians, no blacks” in dating profiles, which shows how racist and white-centric gay dating can be.

You see, there’s a totem pole of races in the gay community, with white people at the very top. It sorta goes like this: White, Latino (honorary whites), Mixed, Asian, Black, Indian, etc. This hierarchy is responsible for all kinds of phenomena in the gay world. Take, for example, the fact that Asian-White couples often consist of an older white guy with a younger Asian. Or at the very least, an Asian who’s substantially more attractive than his white counterpart. It’s never the other way around.

The bias extends to pop culture. When was the last time you saw an Asian Abercrombie model? All of the main characters on Queer as Folk were white. Heck, all the main characters in the latest HBO gay drama Looking are white even though the show is set in San Francisco where a third of gays are Asian. And of course, how can we forget about gay porn?

And so I wanted to find out for myself what every gay Asian knows – no matter how hot or young you are, you’ll suffer the inevitable Asian “discount” that’s applied when you hit the dating/hookup market. What better way than on the most shameless, unapologetic, and narcissistic venue: Grindr.

The Asian vs. White Grindr Experiment

Asian white profile picture Asian white profile picture

Who’s hotter?

I whipped out two phones, loaded Grindr, and put two similar looking jocks to the test: 28, 5’10”, 170lbs, muscular, 8”uc. What’s not to like? Their profiles were exactly the same except one was Asian and the other white. I carried around the two phones for a week to different cities and here’s what happened.

Raw uncut data

So being Asian my whole life, I finally know how it feels to be a hot white guy for a week. The white guy comfortably gets 1.5 – 2x more messages than the Asian. There’s no other conclusion than it’s great to be white. You’ve got twice as many guys lined up ready to suck you off or get pounded by you.

Asian vs White Grindr messages

Another thing you notice is that there are many hot guys who are simply off limits to Asians. Here’s one guy I tried to message as the Asian and it didn’t get very far. Gays love to use the “not my type” excuse as cover for any number of prejudicial preferences. When I message the same dude as the white guy, and I instantly get cockshots, details on how much he wants to pound my ass, and whether I can host.

Asian vs White Grindr Experiment Message Asian vs White Grindr Experiment Message

As a hot white guy, you can expect a near 100% reply rate. In fact, you wind up with the problem that more guys are messaging you in a day than you can realistically sleep with in a month. This explains why as a white guy you can get away with being a complete douchebag. Why would you waste your time with anyone other than the cream of the crop? And why settle down when you can have an endless stream of orgies?

As an Asian, you can only hope to be so lucky to get the pleasure of a response. Just for fun, I sent a fellow Asian a message as the white guy. He thought it was some kind of joke, like I was a white guy coming to the back of the bus.

Asian vs White Grindr Experiment Message

Conclusion

If you’re a hot white guy, keep on doing what you do best – being white. You’ve got it made until your skin starts to sag. But not to worry, you’ll still have younger Asians flocking to you.

If you’re not white, the only real solution to this problem is to pray to god that you’re born white next time. There’s an inherent bias against us and you need to know for all intents and purposes, you have no realistic chance of dating a hot white guy your own age. Changing the mentality of a whole community doesn’t happen overnight, and it certainly won’t happen in your generation.

647 thoughts on “The Asian vs White Grindr experiment: Why it’s great to be White!

  1. And yet the Asians only want white guys.
    The blacks only want white guys.
    The hispanics only want white guys.
    White guys want all kinds of shit.
    Who’s to blame here?

    1. David, this is one of the most ignorant comments and a demonstration about how whites dominate the gay community I’ve seen on this article and I’ve watched it float around the last two years.

      1. Actually, it’s not a ignorant comment, David is being honest. Not politically correct, but honest. Why, for a lot of people, these preferences exist is a different story.

    2. You nailed it.
      As a mixed race guy with white skin and curly hair, I learned not to give preference to white people, and I’m dating another mixed guy with brown/black skin.

      I realized I had these standards internalized, and used to gave preference to white people, and that was just disapointing because I always saw how snob they were. And I also realized that this happened because we feed their superego, by looking preferably for them.

      When you mentioned that 1 in 3 gay guys is asian in San Francisco, the only thing that crossed my mind was: These guys need to start considering dating each other (and other minorities too), and start to break this pattern. They need to understand racism, social patterns, and start breaking it. They need to be proud of who they are and stop – as we say here in my country – giving cookies to white men. That’s about time. And that is the only way they live proudly, without being passed over, in happy horizontal relationships (without anyone feeling naturally better, above you), and actually break this pattern and the white gay men’s superego.

      1. I have a fetish for red hair. Brunettes also are attractive me but blonde hair rarely attracts me. Thats just tge way it is and its no big deal and noobodies business. I do not have to make myself like blondes. I do not discriminate against blondes as friends, work colleges or neigbours. Some blondes are attractive to me, but very rarely. So what?

    3. This is somewhat offensive but appears to be born out in reality, but I would be very suspicious of an Asian profile on Grindr that claims to have an 8 inch penis. That alone would make me hesitant to respond to such a profile. There are plenty of white guys who overestimate as well, but it’s more plausible than an Asian guy who makes a similar claim.

          1. Again, please stop being racist. You’re basically stating racism towards Asians is socially acceptable given your odd sentiments

        1. I’ve seen lots of Asian guys naked, in pics, in reality, in the gym, and I’ve *never* seen an Asian guy larger than about 7.5, and even then the guy overestimated his size. I would consider 7.5 to be huge for an Asian man, and by far an outlier, so a claim of 9, or even 8 as in the article above, makes me rather skeptical. Penis size is not the most important thing ever, but it may factor into a person’s decision. It would certainly deter me from responding to the fictitious post in this article.

          1. I know it was 9″ because the biggest cock I can deep throat without gagging is 8″ his cock was def 9″ I’m sorry you haven’t had a 9″ Asian cock, but I have! I never lie about dick : )

          2. No matter how you phrase it, you’re a racist for believing that anti Asian racial stereotype. Why can’t you just accept that you’re a White racist???

          3. There is no pontoon denying reality. Black guys, on average hAve the biggest cocks. Take it (no pun intended!) or leave it, that’s reality. Size is the latest fashion, but the ancient Greeks thought too large a penis unattrative.

    4. THE MEDIA , people are subconsciously taught that white is better through always seeing them, its changong a lol nowadays but its still being taught.

    5. I love your article. Everything you said is you hit right on the head. It’s our own fault for accepting and allowing such disgusting behavior to perpetuate in our society. And it’s only ourselves to blame. I am a Caribbean Latino male and was very surprised when I was forced to enter the Canadian dating world. I could not believe that so much racism was in existence. Thank God I am a free thinking person. When I came here fromTrinidad I was 18 never encountered any such nonessential biased behavior in my young life. When I got too Toronto I have encountered the same thing you spoke about in this article. But I promise myself I would never let myself be made into just one of your racial discriminating gay male. I have been married a few times. To whites.But never will I again as they say you live and learn. I have since for several years only slept with asian men I am glad that I live in Toronto theyare plentiful. But it is not easy because I was not one of their delicacies. I love Asians men so it is tough to watch as they go to their banquets that only served white meat. I will tell you black men are a bit different they love to do whites because it feels good to their egos. Most of the black I hang with have no respect for them at all and will talk really trashy in front and behind their back. And white dudeswill try to laugh at their insults. So I would not say that black men love white most of the time it is just a fanincial convenience. Mostly always. But asian Latinos but very few indian would drop to their knees and worship white men as if they were God’s. You are quite right this kind of behavior will never end in our generation but I am not sure it is strong enough to last a few. I have seen a lot of changes in my generation to believe it will change. Thanks

      1. I am asian and I’m more into Persians, Middle Easterns and Latinos and brown guys… 😉
        They’re much more sexier than whites.

    6. Not every black guy wants a white guy, among my friends their first choice is hispanic, myself I prefer asian with white guys a distant last

    7. yeah exactly! it’s not our fault that everyone has it in their heads that white guys are hotter, I’m not saying that any race is better than another but if everyone wants us then why are we to blame?

  2. Obvi written by an Asian man (with low self worth) .
    Sexual attraction is not about bodies and six pack …. I mostly attracted to faces …. I also like older men who lot of the time say no to me cause they only like Asians !!!
    Asian , want it or not , don’t look the same as white . Not worse looking or better looking , just not the same.
    I am not attracted to an Asian face . Please tell me you don’t think Asians don’t have different faces then whites (or black to be exact….)
    Why you so offended if people don’t like you for who you are ? Not everyone does ! It’s their loss !
    Asians also go for white guys – is that mean they are racist?
    When you put whites on a higher platform you already making yourself weak . Don’t try to be them – be yourself .

  3. I’m a black guy who often likes Asians, but so many have this white complex. They’re the ones perpetuating the problem. They could chose not to date white, but they do anyway. So whatever. They can’t really complain.

  4. There is a lot of truth to this whole article. I’ve never had a problem getting hit on all the time. I don’t particularly care what someone else’s race is, as long as I find some personal attraction. I don’t fault someone if they only want to date within their own race. Personal attraction, is a funny thing. As I’m getting older, I’m not, going to continue attracting young guys like I use to do. It’s just life. It’s nothing to get bitter over.

  5. Racial preference is learned behavior. A gay man liking men is preprogrammed. To say racial preference is also preprogrammed is simply not true. Some people prefer hawaiin pizza, some like combo, some like pepperoni. Those are learned behaviors because they can also be acquired taste. Liking women can’t be an acquired taste, but a gay man liking different races can be an acquired taste. Therefore, preferring only whites and or latinos is racist. Everyone wants to be morally upstanding, but the fact is, mostly gay white guys and some latinos only want pepperoni pizza. The gay world faces so much discrimination oustide, and we face even more within our community.

    1. Spot on. Had racial preference been genetic, all races would be equally repelled by other races, just like they are equally likely to be indifferent to femininity. But in reality only Whites do exclusively intra-racial dating. There are no other race who predominantly reject whites, hence proving the preferences are cultural.

    2. there actually is no consensus on why some people are gay and some are straight. It could be a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Therefore it isn’t logical to make an argument stating definitively how racial and sexual preferences work, since we don’t know. Is excluding certain ethnic groups from your dating sphere racist? It might be. But gays have been fighting for the right to love who they want for decades. For those same men to then tell someone else who they should date takes some serious balls. You reap what you sow.

    3. I have found attractive people in every race. If someone is stupid enough to say I blacks iron Asians, well I think that person does have a problem. How can you say there is Not one attractive person In a race

    4. There is no good data for this. It may turn out to be true but studies are poorly designed to detect such differences and is merely a matter of preference at this point. In addition, who is to say an innate preference is any less plastic than a learned preference? It seems to make sense, but again, there is limited data on this point.

    5. I have had sex ( and dated) with virtually every type. Every type is attractive but some types ( e.g Red hair) are more attractive to me. Yes, a good personality is the most important thing, but nearly everybody first discriminates on attractiveness ( irrespective of race). Are you saying good looking people must learn to find ugly people attractive? Maybe the good looking are missing out, maybe they could grow to love someone who is ugly…but get real.

  6. As a white gay guy who isn’t “hot” this whole article sounds like a bunch of whining. This is only one way that gay men are shallow, selfish, racist, agist, sexist, etc. and “hot” men of any race tend to be the worst.

    1. Of course a “White” person would consider any discussion of racism whining. White privileged much?? And don’t give me that “not hot” routine.

  7. Lol move to Asia. Im Asian and i can assure you I’m much more into Asians, blacks and Latinos than white guys.

  8. I have to admit… I’m one of those type of white guys. At least I was. I met a guy through a mutual friend that got us together. We met in person so that “Grindr filter” wasn’t there. He was mixed race but predominantly Filipino with a Spanish surname. I honestly thought he was Mexican descent. If that Grindr filter had been there I probably would have passed him by. I’m glad I didn’t. It turned out to be some of the best sex that either of us had. We bonded and had a connection with real chemistry until he graduated from college and moved to Europe for his medical school training. I really hope that someday well be able to see each other again. It had taught me not to be so judgemental and has opened my eyes.

    1. Whatever happened to gay hook ups without Grindr? Having lived overseas and back for a short while, I find there are less local GWM that I can be attracted and have an intellectual conversation with! Anyway, happy to be proven wrong.

      1. I hear ya’. I’m a GWM primarily attracted to GAM in Dallas, Tx [gay part of town]. Six years ago, when I started responding to Asian men, I was able to meet Asian men much more easily. Now, I don’t see them out as often or they have their faces buried in their phones when I do see them in traditionally cruisy, outside the bars, places.

  9. I’m european and I love asians! but yes, asking to my asian friends, they only like white guys, and some of them never had sex with other asians.

  10. This is so funny. I know so many white guys that are looking for that Mandingo. Wanting to live out a fantasy. I am African-American, but I do get hit on a lot by white men online and in public. If someone sends me a message online, the first thing I do is read your profile. If they reference no blacks, no Asians or whatever. I respond by saying why are they sending me a message. They give you the back hand comment that you’re an exception. I in turn tell them that they’re not my type, and block them. Yes, you can have your preference but you don’t have to be an ass about it.

  11. OK wait a minute. This guy thinks that many Asians don’t have a chance of dating a white guy. Doesn’t that mean he thinks it’s better to date a white guy than an Asian??? Perhaps he’s a bit prejudicial in his dating preferences—against Asians!! No wonder it pisses him off.
    I’ve dated pretty much every color I know of. I just thought they were cute.

    1. Things have changed so much in the last 15 years. When I first came out back in 2000, yes, it was predominantly a lot of Asian guys specifically seeking out White guys. There was virtually no visibility for gay Asian guys. Since then, with the explosion of dating apps and more visibility, I find young Asian guys tend to date other Asians almost exclusively. It’s refreshing to see younger Asian American guys have a stronger sense of identity and find beauty in each other. There are still a certain set of Asian guys that still only date White guys, but they are almost always older, thus set in their ways. It’s kind of sad that they still seek a strange kind of validation in that.

  12. I’m a tall white guy, considered attractive, I absolutely love asian men, I find them to be by far the sexiest, sweetest, best lovers, best friends , I’m single now but looking for that asian man

  13. Funny because I’m Latino and I absolutely think Asian guys are by far the hottest guys out there but when I do try to talk with them or “get with them” I mostly get rejected because most of them are only into other Asians or white guys. I’m not the one to go off of rumors or read about it in articles I’ve actually experienced this. My conclusion I can’t have an Asian guy because I’m not white or Asian.

    1. I love Latinos, r u in LA? lets hook up, I love Latinos, Mexican men are so beautiful to me, did I mention I love Latinos?

  14. I am a White Guy and came out at 18 and am now 50. I never dated white guys because of attitude. at times. Other races were just easier to date. I have had long-term relationships with Latin, Chinese, Indian and Japanese men. I have dated Asian and Latin men. In southern CA dating seams to end with them getting a richer guy. There are white guys that are good looking that date Asians. My only requirement was uncut and a nice personality. To me a cut guy no matter how good looking is a sexual turn off. I am now in a long-term relationship with an Indian guy. I met him while looking at profiles of Indian Men. I flew to India and we traveled all over India. He came here and stayed and we are very happy. He spoke very bad English but we connected. We are married now also.

  15. Whites are the beauty standard and nothing wrong with it. I’m getting a
    Nose job n getting more fair skin. Something everyone does in Hollywood. I def feel inferior but it’s normal.

  16. Oh gosh! Who the F cares. You like what you like and don’t what you don’t – It doesn’t make someone racist. Racism is driven by hate and ignorance. If all this “well, it shouldn’t matter” nonsense really does matter, then we’d have no problem sleeping with women, men, trans, short people, tall people, ugly people, good looking people, fat people, skinny people, old people, young people, small dicks, large dicks, impotent, etc. etc., I could go on and on…because we are “all the same” NEWS FLASH — WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME! and that is the way it should be. If the car dealer is all out of silver cars, but they have a green one that has all the same features, I’m not going to just buy the green one if what I want is a silver car. If someone else wants to, then that’s their prerogative.

    CELEBRATE DIVERSITY!!!! We are all different for a reason and there is nothing wrong with being attracted to one race exclusively, especially when dealing with using a sex hookup app like grndr, again…who the F cares. Move on.

    I consider myself a good looking in-shape guy and I am white (and I actually prefer other races over my own, because that is what I like). I’m lucky if I get 3-4 hits a day. This guy still got about 20 hits a day by being himself…TWENTY!!!! Perhaps it was that he himself didn’t like who was reaching out to him because they were non-white and/or might have been too old or too ugly or out of shape, isn’t that just as bad as being “racist.”

  17. Implicit Bias. ‘Nuf said. It’s disheartening that a demographic that parades the rainbow as a symbol of its identity can be so obtuse when it comes to stereotyping minorities.

    I don’t know what the reason is. One possibility is that this “community” is still new and that some members have not matured enough to realize that a split-second glance at someone’s torso is not the best surrogate for a meaningful relationship or a fulfilling fuck. This close-mindedness is almost enough to make me go straight. Grow up boys.

  18. Hi!!! Can I translate this post to portuguese and post in my blog?
    I speak about anti-asian racism and xenophobia and though that this post was very important to our cause.
    If yes, we will put all credits and links to this post in the first line and also credit you in our facebook page.
    Thanks!!!

  19. Reading the article, haha sometimes I think it’s a joke. Just speaking my mind! I’m a Asian guy. Yet most people of all colors hit on me. White, blacks and Asians. Never Latino! People flirt with me on apps yes, we exchange pictures yet, every guy I talk to say the samething about me. Wow “Your freaking cute” lol. It’s true all the guys say that over and over. I get hit on from older guys to younger guys from there 50’s through there teen’s. Lol. All I can say is white guys are more attractive. If you don’t believe me check out my Facebook lol. Lee R Xaiyasang Shalang tell me what you think lol. 😜.

  20. Random comment about Asian men. Find a place of your own. Get an apartment and live in it by yourself. Don’t let relatives move in with you. Don’t set yourself up in living situations where you can’t have men over. I meet so many gay Asian and Filipino men who do this. What’s wrong with you?! You are worthy of full lives. Leave home and keep your distance from your families. So many American men are out of the closet and live independently. Having to maneuver your troubling living situations would definitely lead men to stay away from you :/

  21. My best lover is an Asian guy who is similar in age to me but shorter and heavier. He is my favorite ‘friend’ because he makes sparks fly when he pounds me. No younger, slimmer passive guy is going to replace him any time soon. I’m white.

  22. I beg to differ, I’m Asian and my ex husband is white and way good looking than I am, he looks like a “Greek God” just as you obnoxiously label yourselves white people as like some sort of security to remind yourselves out that you’re on top of the hierarchy or something it’s sickening.. lol

    I’m Asian and my white ex-husband treats me like a goddess.. I even cheated on him and dumped him right after. My point is, it’s not because you’re white or whatever race you are putting yourself in that twisted hierarchy white people have created, it really just depends on the person we just simply have to respect each other’s preference unless you’re insecure enough that you blame other people from misery.

    1. **** from your own misery. Simply get a life and exist on what you’re only able to work with. Some gays are just too ambitious. Lol

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