Creepy old gay guys who try to date younger guys

Angry Homosexual
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Creepy old guys dating young guys is a very common phenomena in the gay world. While no one knows exactly how common it is, it seems like every third couple you see on the street is age mismatched to a visible degree.

Probably because there’s a dearth of date-able gay guys out there, some young guys fall prey to an older gay guy who, because he’s more experienced, works his charms on the younger guy to the point where both parties think they’re in a real, committed relationship.

It’s a symbiotic relationship whereby the young guy gets emotional support and stability that’s almost impossible to find in other young gay guys, and the older guy gets a younger, sexier partner he can wear like a trophy.

Despite the fact that things may look alright on the surface, this is a extraordinarily screwed up situation, and I speak from experience. You see, the reason why such relationships form in the first place is that both parties are clinging to each other like life preservers.

The older guy, being of an age where his youthful looks have faded (if he ever had them in the first place) and is therefore no longer sellable, has few alternatives – he will take just about any young guy emotionally stable enough to hold a conversation and at least slightly-below-average looks.

The young guy, emotionally exhausted after suffering umpteen failed relationship-attempts with deadbeat guys who can’t commit to brushing their teeth every morning, much less stay monogamous for longer than 48 hours, is quite relieved to find a stable, older man who is not only willing to be faithful but practically worships him.

All is fine and dandy, except that both parties are deluding themselves, and sooner or later one of the two will pull their heads out of the sand (generally the younger guy, who has way more options) and the whole thing will fall apart.

The younger guy doesn’t truly want an creepy older man (who could be his father) as a boyfriend or partner. Not by a long shot. He’s clinging to papa because he’s frustrated and emotionally bruised, and papa offers safety and comfort. The gay dating world can be horrifically harsh. Everyone seems to be in it for themselves. A lot of younger guys have no money because they’re working at Starbucks and/or studying some dead-end major in college. The ones who have two dimes to rub together are often cocky and overly career-focused, perhaps to compensate for their broken childhoods or just the shame of being homosexual.

Older men are generally financially stable. They offer a mature emotional perspective and having been through the struggles of being a young homosexual, can offer guidance to a young gay man that no one else can. It also doesn’t hurt that they’re willing to foot the bill for nice dinners, opera tickets, and vacations to Europe.

Both parties feel insecure with the arrangement. The younger guy is worried that the older guy will replace him with a younger model, particularly as time passes. The richer the older guy, the more vulnerable is the younger guy to replacement.

The older guy is worried that the younger guy is totally out of his league in terms of looks and youthfulness, and might one day will want to date someone his own age, not his father’s.

All this, of course, is in addition to the obvious logistical problems of age mismatched dating. Both will be at different stages in their careers. The younger guy is probably going to have more energy and better health. The older guy may be completely un-presentable to the younger guy’s parents. And supposing the relationship lasts, what is the younger guy left with when he’s barely 50 years old, with potentially many years left to go, and the older guy is dead? [CORRECTION: his pension, perhaps]

And when the whole house of cards falls apart (and I’m willing to bet that it will), both parties are going to be angry homosexuals. The older guy will feel abandoned and mistreated, and the younger guy will wonder why he wasted months or even years of his youth dating papa. At least that’s the experience of yours truly.

The solution, of course, is age-appropriate dating. Yes, most guys out there are bastards. Only a small percentage are dateable. But let’s face it – there *are* good guys out there your own age. You just need to persist until you find one. Don’t waste your time and your youth. You only live once, so date a hot, young guy your own age before you turn into papa.

76 thoughts on “Creepy old gay guys who try to date younger guys

  1. I really couldn’t read it all. What a rubbish writing! You are too bitter!

    I am 50 years old. Just to give a brief history if you don’t mind, I was in a “monogamous” relationship for 15 years with an incredible and very young looking man of 55, five years senior of me who was has also been in a sort of open relationship with his live-in partner for over 20 years. I am not a relationship oriented guy so it was okay with me. Generally, for hook ups, I prefer guys around my age a little younger (-8) or older (+8) (but been with up to +15 older while I was 40 only if they looked younger, in great shape and very sexy).

    I have been with only two guys while I was with my great friend of 15 years. They were after six or seven years into our friendship and after my bud had to relocate to another state for his new job but we did maintain our close friendship with benefits throughout the years.

    Anyhow, I moved to a mediterranean country in Europe six months ago. After creating my profile in a couple of gay dating sites, I can say that I have received communications easily from way more than 100 local guys in a very short time and still has been receiving anytime I am on on those websites. I am healthy, down to earth, muscular and in good shape (exercise daily). To my surprise, 90% of the guys who wanted to meet me were under 30 while most of them were in their early 20s; and another 8% or so in their early to mid 30s; and remaining of the guys were in their 40s, not many but the same guys do check my profiles to get my attention from time to time instead of asking out directly. I am picky and I met with a few guys under 30, had sex with a few of them (more than I hooked up in the last 15 years) and I happen to like one of them who is a college educated professional young man at the age of 25. Honestly, there were young who wanted to hook up with me when I lived in the U.S. but not as many in numbers. We have been together multiple times at his place in the last 4 or 5 months since I can’t host due to having a family member who lives with me (I am not married, I am gay).

    With this particular young man, It’s been strictly for sex so far although he did mention that he wanted a relationship prior to meeting. I told him I wasn’t. Similarly, all the ones I met in person wanted to meet me again even if it was just for sex; but generally, they wanted something more than just sex. I wasn’t interested in them. I tried to be polite about it as much as I could and if they didn’t get the sign, I simply stayed away or avoided them to make them understand that I wasn’t interested. They can be very persuasive.

    I don’t consider myself sexy or handsome per se but I am a very nice, caring and dependable person although guys think of my look highly. I have always been hit on by gay men all the time in hook up sites since I have been out (two years prior to meeting my buddy in my early mid 30s). I was very worried of meeting too many strange guys in such a short time at the time. I met all my sex partners of various ages and ethnic backgrounds through Internet and all were wonderful guys, thanks God. I have even had straight guys who hit on me throughout years, a few were neighbors, some were co-workers, more of whom were even married men in their 50s at the time. What can I say, I will admit I have a killer smile and I smile a lot and I am also very polite. I had sex with a divorced mature co-worker after three months of his persuasion. I think he has probably told others that I was gay although he denied it when I confronted him. I have heard from gay men in the Internet that I looked masculine and intimidating by look (I am not sure what that means) but one wouldn’t immediately think I am gay.

    How old do I really look for a 50 years old guy? Honestly, I am in much better shape than most of my peers. In fact, in this new country of mine, the young men I meet or chat with can’t believe I am 50 because many gay men look a lot older here than in the U.S. What the heck, I have seen many more incredibly sexy and young looking men in their mid to late 50s in the U.S! Here, a gay man in his 40s would be compare to someone in his 50s in the U.S. and someone in his 50s looks as old as someone in his 60s in the U.S. I think it is because of too much smoking and lack of exercise.

    I always lived a healthy life style without the habits of smoking, drinking, using drugs, partying and etc. I have been working out for the most part of last 25 years so I am stronger than when I was in my 20s and 30s excluding the on and off typical gym and work related injuries that I live with for years like knee, elbow, leg, foot, back pains etc. but I still can run and swim as fast but not as long as when I was much younger. In regards to my sex drive…well, I ejaculate more during sex than my 25 years old young man and the other guys I met thus far. On average, I ejaculate more than 10 times weekly whether I have sex or not for the last…erhm… not sure, 20–25 years?!?! I do like it and it relaxes me. I do have a stressful job but I do like it a lot.

    It is okay if you intend to share your experience but do not attempt to pass judgement on others by trying to make them feel guilty, shameful or as if the person(s) with great age gap have some psychological issues. When I came out in my mid 30s, a few of the first hooks up of mine were with guys in their 50s. I didn’t enjoy having sex with them as much or shall I say I was disappointed, it was because I thought they had much lower sex drive than they described it early on. I was a lot more wild then and they couldn’t keep up with me. That was it! Thanks for reading.

    Peace.

  2. Quite possibly the worst article I’ve ever read. I’m 52 my b.f. is 25. In relationship for 5 years. I am NOT or was NOT as you would say unatractive. No money changes hands and I am not controlling or molding him in any way. Maybe should look in the mirror when you’re 50 and see how you look. Honestly find the gay community to be the cruelest and most unaccepting when they shouldn’t be.

  3. I am a straight male, and have simply just wanted to make friends. But I have encountered deceitful men whom have tried to ‘lure’ me, and it’s a defeating feeling. If two people are gay and enjoy each others company, then I see that as acceptable, any age gap. But I wholeheartedly disagree it’s okay for older men to pretend to be my friend, only for the sake of trying to hit on me later.

    I have been touched, been asked to go to strange locations, been coerced to talk about strange and sexual things… It’s just sad and not fair to us heterosexuals. And then when I reveal that I’m not gay or ever have intentions of being gay, they contact me less or discard me altogether. I want to get on with both genders, without wondering if a fellow male friend of mine just wants my ass. There is the right way, and the dishonest manipulative WEIRD way.

  4. This is my personal experience. I started dating guys half my age two years ago. I was straight all my life. But in my sixties I started having gay dreams which scared me at first. After a few years of denial I decided to act. I tried an escort first. I wasn’t confident I could find a man to have sex with. I tried a few sites. On one site I had 150 viewings in 2 days. Most of them wanted pictures. Now I have a handsome boyfriend in his thirties. He is well off himself. We talk a lot about our businesses. Lots in common. Sexually he is very patient with me as I don’t have much experience. I am happy with him and he seems as well. I am separating from my wife for various reasons and plan to travel with him. My relationship with my wife was good but became unsustainable after her menopause. She refused to have sex after that. I was patient with her to no avail. Now someone loves me and I give myself to his desires. I love it

  5. Ill be honest…people is quick to judge, I am 18 and date a boy barely 2 years younger…the barrier is when the age difference is more than 6 years…and becomes a major topic for people when the age gap is 20+ years…I am not against them, people can do anything they want…I just hope is all about love and not emotional dependance (As some Psychologist says, loves comes when both parties share their own world, not depend on the other as that causes a lot of emotional trauma when they break up), my preference is to date guys my age, that is to date people around 4 years older/younger nothing more nothing less so my experiences and livings

    Respect, be respected…let me date boys my age and dont come telling me I should give a chance to older men, my life my choice…live and let other live

  6. One more time… And let me say, I agree there are problems with the age gap in my relationship… It’s not perfect… I might have more fun with a younger person or rather a different type of fun but I don’t need a lover for that. I can have friends. The biggest problem for me is health issues. The bf is impotent , but even sex isn’t the most important thing in the world… I wouldn’t trade him for great sex. I’ve had that before and time will come for it again. Besides sex with the love of your life is great.. no matter how bad it is. Y’all know what I’m saying. Also.. being there to help him is a great feeling. Look for other things besides looks, fun, and love. There is comfort, maturity, learning potential. My mother loves my bf. My whole family does. And his family love me. My child likes him. I just want you to see there is more out here than your experience. And I do see it from your point of view though too.

  7. Also, you seem hung up on looks. I never wanted a “hot” guy. And if a guy wasn’t that way, why couldn’t the younger present him to the patents? My bf is way overweight, his health is bad, and he’s not perfect… Except to me.
    You really come across as shallow, unenlightened, and I guess conceited as well.

  8. I’m 36. My bf is 67. It works for us, but I’ve never identified as gay or bi, so in that area I don’t need emotional guidance or ever did. Also I’ve always liked older guys, and even was a child was drawn to their warmth. I doubt I’d be left alone for a younger hotter guy, or that Id want a guy closer to my age myself. There are complications, I give you that but every relationship has them… These are just a little harder to manage but that’s OK. And although my lover likes younger, and would prefer my age as opposed to someone his age, it wasn’t a must. He was looking for a “boy” and it just happened to be me. Everyone is different though, and I think you’re on with points. Alot of older guys would ditch for younger and hotter. I worried about that before I really knew my bf. And he worried about me going for a healthier , more agile, stronger guy…. But loyalty is a big value to both of us. You shouldn’t dismiss a intergenerational relationship as never going to work just because many fail. Some guys truly want older, and maybe at times it is for the comfort, etc… We all are not searching for the same things in relationships. Feelings of safety and comfort might be what some prefer over passion, etc..

  9. I don’t quite understand why some people here are upset. Maybe your particular case with older men has worked, but everything that he describes has actually happened to many MANY other people, and it’s a shame. I also almost fell under the enchantment of an older guy who used to tell me he was 40, but he looked like he was 50. I’m 30. When I realized what he was doing, I immediately got away from it because I knew that he was also seeing younger men. I felt used and stupid, and I’m glad I was able to escape unharmed. However, I know of some young guys who are lured by older men precisely because of everything that is described here. My experience from what I’ve seen is that it always ends in a mess, and it is usually the younger guy who gets hurt the most. If you and your partner have a big age difference and it has worked for you, congratulations. But do not discredit this person just because of your success. Unfortunately, what this guy says has a lot of truth and makes absolute sense, and I appreciate his perspective so that we can educate younger men about it. If they still decide to go for it, and they end up hurt, then that’s on them. But there are some creepy old men out there with not so clear/good intentions, and they’re honestly a waste of energy.

  10. What a complete moron. I am 35, my lover is 67. We’ve only been together a year but I’m hoping it lasts. I’m not with him for his money either. I was with another older man in my really early 20s. We are still close friends. This writer is an ignorant a**

  11. This blog is spot on, I see it’s damaged the ego of some who are obsessed with capturing the youth of others to delude their aged reality. What I dislike the most is how older men use younger guys navity to enable the older man to live a second youth through someone else. It smacks of insecurity and how the older man knows that he has yet to become self aware enough to be able to date those in his own age range ( plus or minus 10 years ). I hope young gay men read this and keep trying dating in their own age range as you will have more fun and be far more connected by coming from the same generation with the same generational ideologies. I have seen too many young guys chewed up, turned into a conservative old comudgen betond their years and spat out having to redefine themselves to fit back into their peers. The most disgusting is men in their 50’s and 60’s who will only date/see/hook up with guys under 30 or even 25, 20.

    1. As i have said above young men are young men. (They are no-longer Little boys) They have minds of their own. Its up to you as an individual as to who You date. And its down to the individual who they personally jump into bed with.

  12. you really have to tone down man, the internet is not a trash can for you to dump all ur emotional insecurities… you would want to consider your sexual orientation as a factor for exclusion… don’t consider age as one. live your life and respect everybody relationships. a article like this generates hate on your own community. think about it before you write buddy. words have power, and yours were just not well used.

  13. I am personally aware of one inter-generational relationship that was a train wreck. Most others I’ve seen and there are many, seem to be pretty decent and stable. For whatever reason, my sexual market value in my late 40s has skyrocketed. I’ve been on quite a few dates with some really nice, good looking young man. I believe a lot of it has to do with self-confidence and the way One looks at the world. I have noticed that mature gay men have no interest in other mature gay men. Other mature gay men are settled and set in their ways. I tried to date a few guys my age, few of them are attractive and healthy and the others are completely damaged goods. I have no problem wanting to share my life and resources with a younger man who needs me. It’s not really that different from heterosexual marriage. Most successful marriages are not based on intense love but are based on need, happiness and comfort.

    1. You might be right on that. At 36 I’m really coming back to my roots and able to embrace the fact im not into guys, but it’s been a struggle. I live with an older guy, and although we say I love you to each other, it seems it’s more about needs, comfort, but I still love him yet it’s more in like the way family would.

    1. I have found during my travelling that a lot of younger guys are seeking the older guys ! Yes who ever this guy is he should dump a lot of his baggage

      1. You are correct in this assumption; it happens more often than not. I am with a guy 18 years younger and have guys 25 years younger trying to get down there. WTF?

    2. I could not agree any more with you. This writer is really aggressive towards the older guy. There are 1000’s of younger seeking older. And older seeking younger. And its not the case that its the older guy is at fault either. This comes down to both parties feelings. There is either attraction here. or there is no attraction. Any older guys cannot read a young guys mind. And vice versa. This is down to each and every individual here. We all have minds of our own. You cant tell any young male that he has to date someone his own age. If a young guy at 16yo wants to jump into my bed. Who are you the reader to tell my partner. That Him

      jumping into my bed this is morally wrong. And he should find a guy. 16 to 20 or 16 to 25, That’s acceptable. I think not. This is my personal opinion here. And people need to mind their own business. Its MY personal business who i jump into bed with. And not you the reader to tell my partner that his choice in me as his partner is morally wrong. I mean even the underage will try their luck. And its Always the older guy that has to put them in their place. Nothing wrong with a bit of flirting. But that’s as far as it goes. I’ve done that myself before now. Young lads are young lads. Their hormones are all over the place. As i have said Who are you the reader to tell any young male. any different And that applies to angry homosexual You can tell a young man.(That’s what he is) No longer a child, He is a young man. No longer a child or a little boy. once he turns 16yo he is able to make His own mind up. As to who he dates. Male or female.

      Creepy old gay guys who try to date younger guys.

      Young guys have minds of their own. And if any 16yo wishes to jump into my bed. I for one am NOT going to say NO

      1. I’d like to see any young lads opinion posted up here. As well as they challenge mine. As far as i am concerned. This is a personal preference here. And nobody can say otherwise. Who should fall in love with whoever. Its all personal preference. And who you as the reader. Of my comments are attracted to. As i have said any young male ( 16yo or older ) that wants to jump into my bed. Your more than welcome. leave a comment. lets see if we can even exchange contact details. Without saying on here My E.m.a.i.l. is.

        1. Lmao Ur so desperate its sad.. and stop with the hate. Just because you cant get an innocent to use as your sex toy, you wanna talk trash about this guys article

      2. Richard, a 16yo? Isn’t that a little young. At 16 I was going for older guys. But I was lost. Wish they would of been able to say no to me. A young guy that age, but I’m speaking from personal experience, … He has issues going for older guys. I guess it’s not the same for every guy into older, but just be careful… If you really love the boys, you’ll think about this stuff before eagerly jumping into bed. I had been molested as a child and it screwed me up.. I never identified as gay and I needed to be led away from things, so… Everyone is different… Just don’t let YOUR hormones end up harming. Assess the situation a bit first. If my son was confused, list and needed guidance but blindly thought he wanted sex due to loneliness and inside wasn’t truly homosexual and you f-d him cuz of your needs…. As a parent I’d be pissed and feeling my kids pain. Not that such a thing would happen . If a parent is that absent then I doubt he’d feel anything. Anyways, like I said, I’m speaking from my own experience.. so for me, id wanna help people in similar situations and help em make better choices . So no offense . I’m 36 now. I live with an older guy.

        1. Thanks for sharing your experience on the subject of this article. It is clearly from your heart and actual life experience in contrast to the ravings of the writer. That alone is valuable to all of us. It particularly touches me because I thought my life was over when I turned 60+ and happened to go to China, where older people are actually sought after by a significant segment of the very accessible young gay population.

          These young guys not only “saved” my life, but reversed my aging process itself. Granted that being white and American gives me unfair advantages, but only one guy (my favorite because of his challenge) has brought this up. By announcing upfront that I have a 34 year (open) relationship with a now 60 year-old, I hope to mitigate feelings of disillusionment. While not always successful in this regard, it is my opinion that all of us must learn to deal with disappointment. This is understood in China where young guys are articulate, driven to succeed (and build a house for their parents and grandparents), exceptionally mature and articulate (even in a second, very difficult language), disdainful toward drugs and certainly self-victimhood. These people have little problem in seeing the world as it really is and have given this “old gay predator” a whole new life.

          I am also interested in your thoughts about being molested as a child. I never had this experience, having starting having sex with male classmates when I was 12, but welcomed the advances of a visiting grad student when I was 16. While I longed for physical affection from adults, I now am now somewhat revulsed by the idea of having sex with anyone over 50.

          Once again thanks for sharing your experience.

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