Why do gay couples look like each other?

How do you tell from a distance whether two guys are a gay couple or just simply bros? By the way they look, of course!

harmonized_couple_smallGay couples, over time, have a tendency to harmonize and look like each other. The adopt the same hair style, glasses-frame style, same shirt, same shoes – you’d almost mistake them for twins, except that when you look closely, they’re not biological twins.

This phenomenon is especially prevalent among Caucasian gay couples, but it also happens in other races and in biracial couples.

Why this happens is a bit of a mystery. Part of the issue comes down to selection bias – when you’re a gay man, there’s a tendency to look for a mate who matches your image of beauty, and at the same time, a desire to look like that image of beauty. In other words, you pick a mate who looks like you because that’s what you’re attracted to.

But over time, there’s something else at work too – the tendency to influence each other and develop a taste for certain kinds of style together. Yours truly and his boyfriend often share the same tastes, although we actively avoid buying the same shirt (sometimes even the same brand of shirt) precisely to avoid the harmonization phenomena.

Whatever the reason for this, I’d love to see us gay men, being the creative types we are, try to avoid this homogenization of our style, and focus instead on being ourselves. Of course, peer pressure is a powerful force, and the one peer whose opinion matters most is, well, our partner.

4 thoughts on “Why do gay couples look like each other?

  1. Gay, white, men are narcissists. When my Queendom forms I will punish narcissism with hard labour at women’s shelters. According to data by OkCupid Asians are most willing to be in an interracial relationship, whereas, white people are at the bottom of the list and least likely to want to be in an interracial relationship. White people falling pathologically in love with themselves is what’s happening.

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