It’s a well known fact that gay white guys generally prefer to date other gay white guys. Gay Asians know it all too well, but we’re mostly complaining in our own echo chamber while white guys party on.
But there’s another form of subtle racism that we rarely talk about – gay Asians discriminate against themselves in favor of whites.
I’ll paraphrase one particularly poignant comment that made me think:
How dare you say that rice queens “don’t care about you”? My love of younger Asian guys is a kind of orientation, just like being gay in the first place. I don’t have any control over who I’m attracted to. And I deeply care about and love the young Asian guy I’m with. I would never “trade him in for a younger model.”
I don’t doubt that rice queens can and do care deeply about the Asians they’re with. There are many kinds of “orientations” or fetishes that seldom draw much scrutiny, like straight men who only date blonde women who are younger and shorter than them. No one accuses them of not caring about their blonde women. Yet it’s just as targeted as the fetish rice queens have for younger Asians – racially, physically, and age-wise.
Besides, the elephant in the room is the fetish that gay white men have for each other, which we rarely think of as a problem.