We’ve all seen it before: Asian girl & White guy. The same young/old, hot/ugly, lean/fat dynamic of the gay world plays out identically in the straight world. It’s so cliché. Now, I don’t have anything against multicultural relationships. In fact, halfie guys are really hot. I’m just furious it’s always that way.
Now, if you’ve traveled enough to Asia especially to the poorer countries, you’ll notice something even more egregious. You’ll often find an old white man, long past his prime, flaunting his young Filipina bride. It happens every. Single. Time. Just like his homosexual counterparts, old white men have no trouble finding a young Asian girl and the reasons are pretty obvious.
From colonization and oppression, to the glorification in movies and advertisements, white men have enjoyed centuries of privilege. The notion that white guys are superior and more desirable has been ingrained in the psyche of Asians forever. Although colonizing countries is no longer in fashion, they’re now colonizing our young women with ease.
For the girl, it’s simple. She sees the old white man as a status symbol and her escape from her poverty-stricken rice paddy village, so she marries him to get that precious ticket out called a green card for her and her whole family. For the man, it’s even more simple. He see Asian women as young, subservient, passive, petite, and easy – something he couldn’t otherwise get back home especially without this power dynamic. Age doesn’t matter. Just be white.
The superiority of whites and inferiority of Asians is the same reason why we don’t see old Japanese men with their young blonde Ukrainian brides. Asian guys are stereotyped and discounted, usually portrayed as nerdy and docile – essentially invisible. There’s just something unappealing about us. Sorry comrades, this is the reality you’re up against and it isn’t making your already difficult dating market any easier.
I’ll paraphrase one particularly poignant comment that made me think:
How dare you say that rice queens “don’t care about you”? My love of younger Asian guys is a kind of orientation, just like being gay in the first place. I don’t have any control over who I’m attracted to. And I deeply care about and love the young Asian guy I’m with. I would never “trade him in for a younger model.”
I don’t doubt that rice queens can and do care deeply about the Asians they’re with. There are many kinds of “orientations” or fetishes that seldom draw much scrutiny, like straight men who only date blonde women who are younger and shorter than them. No one accuses them of not caring about their blonde women. Yet it’s just as targeted as the fetish rice queens have for younger Asians – racially, physically, and age-wise.
Besides, the elephant in the room is the fetish that gay white men have for each other, which we rarely think of as a problem.
Creepy old guys dating young guys is a very common phenomena in the gay world. While no one knows exactly how common it is, it seems like every third couple you see on the street is age mismatched to a visible degree.
Probably because there’s a dearth of date-able gay guys out there, some young guys fall prey to an older gay guy who, because he’s more experienced, works his charms on the younger guy to the point where both parties think they’re in a real, committed relationship.