If you’re gay and want to get laid (or find your soulmate) you’ve probably heard of Grindr or Jack’d. They’re the early ones, have very large user bases, and a world-wide reach. Anybody who’s traveled knows that you can find a hookup pretty much anywhere using one of those apps.
Now, despite the wide-reaching audience, certain groups gravitate towards certain apps, such as Scruff for bears, or Recon for BDSM. It’s no secret that Asians and their Rice Queen admirers have flocked to Jack’d.
The makers of Jack’d recently spiffed up their app to stay ahead of the competition. There’s a slick new interface and new features designed up from the ground up. There’s even a new welcome screen with a rotating carousel of hot guys. It all looks very nice, except for one little omission… no Asians.
Yes, in a spectacular display of white bias, the makers of Jack’d couldn’t be bothered to include a single picture of a gay Asian on their welcome screen, despite the fact that the app is basically a giant, steaming rice cooker.
Out of five pictures, there are precisely zero Asians. You have two white guys, a Latino, a black guy, and even a guy who appears to be mixed. Surely you say this could just be an unconscious omission in no way intended to snub gay Asians, but I have a hard time believing that given their efforts to be racial diverse.
The majority of the world’s population (60%) is Asian yet they couldn’t be bothered to include a single one. Maybe the makers of Jack’d are uncomfortable that we’re the biggest users of their app and want to shed their rice paddy reputation.
It’s a well known fact that gay white guys generally prefer to date other gay white guys. Gay Asians know it all too well, but we’re mostly complaining in our own echo chamber while white guys party on.
But there’s another form of subtle racism that we rarely talk about – gay Asians discriminate against themselves in favor of whites.
I was once PrEP’s biggest cheerleader. But one day, PrEP caused a serious reaction and sent me to the ER, leaving me with a $12,000 bill…
PrEP is all the rage in our gay world these days. It’s the gay man’s birth control. Take one Truvada pill a day and it creates a missile defense shield around your blood cells, shooting down HIV before it can infect you.
PrEP, aka. “Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, a medication regime where you take a Truvada (HIV drug) pill daily to prevent HIV infection.
PrEP is popular because studies show that it works. People who take Truvada every day, seven days a week, are virtually immune to HIV. No one who’s taken Truvada every day has gotten HIV, making it far more effective than condoms, which are only effective 85% of time.
How do you tell from a distance whether two guys are a gay couple or just simply bros? By the way they look, of course!
Gay couples, over time, have a tendency to harmonize and look like each other. The adopt the same hair style, glasses-frame style, same shirt, same shoes – you’d almost mistake them for twins, except that when you look closely, they’re not biological twins.
This phenomenon is especially prevalent among Caucasian gay couples, but it also happens in other races and in biracial couples.
Why this happens is a bit of a mystery. Part of the issue comes down to selection bias – when you’re a gay man, there’s a tendency to look for a mate who matches your image of beauty, and at the same time, a desire to look like that image of beauty. In other words, you pick a mate who looks like you because that’s what you’re attracted to.
But over time, there’s something else at work too – the tendency to influence each other and develop a taste for certain kinds of style together. Yours truly and his boyfriend often share the same tastes, although we actively avoid buying the same shirt (sometimes even the same brand of shirt) precisely to avoid the harmonization phenomena.
Whatever the reason for this, I’d love to see us gay men, being the creative types we are, try to avoid this homogenization of our style, and focus instead on being ourselves. Of course, peer pressure is a powerful force, and the one peer whose opinion matters most is, well, our partner.