We’ve all seen it before: Asian girl & White guy. The same young/old, hot/ugly, lean/fat dynamic of the gay world plays out identically in the straight world. It’s so cliché. Now, I don’t have anything against multicultural relationships. In fact, halfie guys are really hot. I’m just furious it’s always that way.
Now, if you’ve traveled enough to Asia especially to the poorer countries, you’ll notice something even more egregious. You’ll often find an old white man, long past his prime, flaunting his young Filipina bride. It happens every. Single. Time. Just like his homosexual counterparts, old white men have no trouble finding a young Asian girl and the reasons are pretty obvious.
From colonization and oppression, to the glorification in movies and advertisements, white men have enjoyed centuries of privilege. The notion that white guys are superior and more desirable has been ingrained in the psyche of Asians forever. Although colonizing countries is no longer in fashion, they’re now colonizing our young women with ease.
For the girl, it’s simple. She sees the old white man as a status symbol and her escape from her poverty-stricken rice paddy village, so she marries him to get that precious ticket out called a green card for her and her whole family. For the man, it’s even more simple. He see Asian women as young, subservient, passive, petite, and easy – something he couldn’t otherwise get back home especially without this power dynamic. Age doesn’t matter. Just be white.
The superiority of whites and inferiority of Asians is the same reason why we don’t see old Japanese men with their young blonde Ukrainian brides. Asian guys are stereotyped and discounted, usually portrayed as nerdy and docile – essentially invisible. There’s just something unappealing about us. Sorry comrades, this is the reality you’re up against and it isn’t making your already difficult dating market any easier.
If you’re gay and want to get laid (or find your soulmate) you’ve probably heard of Grindr or Jack’d. They’re the early ones, have very large user bases, and a world-wide reach. Anybody who’s traveled knows that you can find a hookup pretty much anywhere using one of those apps.
Now, despite the wide-reaching audience, certain groups gravitate towards certain apps, such as Scruff for bears, or Recon for BDSM. It’s no secret that Asians and their Rice Queen admirers have flocked to Jack’d.
The makers of Jack’d recently spiffed up their app to stay ahead of the competition. There’s a slick new interface and new features designed up from the ground up. There’s even a new welcome screen with a rotating carousel of hot guys. It all looks very nice, except for one little omission… no Asians.
Yes, in a spectacular display of white bias, the makers of Jack’d couldn’t be bothered to include a single picture of a gay Asian on their welcome screen, despite the fact that the app is basically a giant, steaming rice cooker.
Out of five pictures, there are precisely zero Asians. You have two white guys, a Latino, a black guy, and even a guy who appears to be mixed. Surely you say this could just be an unconscious omission in no way intended to snub gay Asians, but I have a hard time believing that given their efforts to be racial diverse.
The majority of the world’s population (60%) is Asian yet they couldn’t be bothered to include a single one. Maybe the makers of Jack’d are uncomfortable that we’re the biggest users of their app and want to shed their rice paddy reputation.
It’s a well known fact that gay white guys generally prefer to date other gay white guys. Gay Asians know it all too well, but we’re mostly complaining in our own echo chamber while white guys party on.
But there’s another form of subtle racism that we rarely talk about – gay Asians discriminate against themselves in favor of whites.
I’ll paraphrase one particularly poignant comment that made me think:
How dare you say that rice queens “don’t care about you”? My love of younger Asian guys is a kind of orientation, just like being gay in the first place. I don’t have any control over who I’m attracted to. And I deeply care about and love the young Asian guy I’m with. I would never “trade him in for a younger model.”
I don’t doubt that rice queens can and do care deeply about the Asians they’re with. There are many kinds of “orientations” or fetishes that seldom draw much scrutiny, like straight men who only date blonde women who are younger and shorter than them. No one accuses them of not caring about their blonde women. Yet it’s just as targeted as the fetish rice queens have for younger Asians – racially, physically, and age-wise.
Besides, the elephant in the room is the fetish that gay white men have for each other, which we rarely think of as a problem.
I was once PrEP’s biggest cheerleader. But one day, PrEP caused a serious reaction and sent me to the ER, leaving me with a $12,000 bill…
PrEP is all the rage in our gay world these days. It’s the gay man’s birth control. Take one Truvada pill a day and it creates a missile defense shield around your blood cells, shooting down HIV before it can infect you.
PrEP, aka. “Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, a medication regime where you take a Truvada (HIV drug) pill daily to prevent HIV infection.
PrEP is popular because studies show that it works. People who take Truvada every day, seven days a week, are virtually immune to HIV. No one who’s taken Truvada every day has gotten HIV, making it far more effective than condoms, which are only effective 85% of time.