Many gay Asians have a problematic addiction to potatoes, aka white guys. I was there myself. For years, I always pictured the “ideal guy” for me to be a dashingly handsome white guy with the perfect features – blue eyes, sandy hair, and a bit taller than me.
Lucky for me, I woke up in time to smell the coffee. Many of my fellow gay Asians aren’t so fortunate. They stick to their proverbial guns and hang to the pipe dream of landing a white male model, even when they’re years past their dating prime.
If you’re a potato queen, I have news for you. You need to get over your addiction to white guys ASAP. Here’s why:
1. You need white guys more than they need you
For every white guy who’s open to dating an Asian, there are no fewer than 3 Asians fighting for his attention.
White guys are the least willing of all the races to date outside their own racial group, and when they do, there’s plenty of competition for them.
Don’t believe me? The folks over at OkCupid, one of the biggest free dating sites, collect statistics on this stuff. The picture isn’t rosy…
- White guys are almost 4 times as likely as Asians to say they strongly prefer to date someone of their own race (43% vs 12%)
- White guys only reply to Asians 35% of the time when they make contact, whereas Asians respond 55% of the time to white guys
See the disparity? There’s a much bigger potential pool of Asians seeking white guys, which means it’s a white guy’s market. Actually, going strictly by reply rates (read the chart vertically downwards), white men are the biggest snobs on OkCupid, with the lowest reply rates of anyone.
And even if you get lucky…
2. You’ll eventually get dumped for a younger, cuter Asian
White people invented the concept of leasing a car and trading it in when it’s old, and they’ve carried that concept over to their dating lives too.
97% of the time when you see an East-West (Asian-White) couple, it’s an older white guy with a substantially younger Asian. Because there are many more Asians seeking white guys than vice versa, white guys have plenty of choice, while potato-seeking Asians have to settle for whatever they can get. Usually, it’s an older, often chubbier white guy who, for all his shortcomings, is, well, white.
Years down the road when you’re getting a bit long in the tooth, you can expect to be traded in for a younger, hotter Asian model, and there will be plenty of those to choose from.
3. Rice queens don’t care about you as an individual
Although your average white guy is a poor dating choice for all the reasons above, you should be extra suspicious of rice queens.
A rice queen is a special variety of white guy that primarily (or exclusively) dates Asians. You may think that you’ve hit pay dirt when you land a rice queen, but you should beware – they only like you because you’re Asian.
White guys become rice queens because they like smooth skin, smaller bodies and what they perceive as more submissive personalities of Asian guys. When a rice queen sees you, he notices only those features he’s attracted to, not necessarily your other qualities.
At some point down the road, your rice queen will find an even better Asian who embodies even more of the qualities he likes, and you might end up sitting on the curb on garbage day.
4. Potatoes age faster
White guys age faster than us Asians, at least on the surface. Caucasian skin tends to be thinner and looser, and more susceptible to wrinkling at an earlier age. White men also gain a considerable amount of weight sometime after their early 20s, and that weight gain continues steadily until middle age, at which time it’s pretty rare to find a white guy who doesn’t have a visible beer gut.
What this means is that your 25-year-old Abercrombie model will see his looks depreciate considerably by age 35, and will almost certainly wind up in the visual bargain bin by age 45. How often do you hear people saying to white guys “OMG you’re 38?? You look 10 years younger!” And yet it happens all the time to Asians.
5. You will end up old and lonely
For all the reasons above, you’re unlikely to land the white guy of your dreams. And even if you luck out, it may be short lived.
A disproportionate number of my old, lonely gay friends are Asians and the one thing they share in common is a strong preference to date exclusively white guys. Year after year as they age they become even less attractive to the white guys who, as we’ve seen, have plenty of younger, cuter Asians to choose from.
If gay Asians want to do themselves a favor, they might consider being more open-minded to dating any other race besides white men, perhaps even giving other Asians a chance. It’s probably not a good idea to base a relationship on superficial physical criteria like skin, hair or eye color, which narrows down your choice of partners. Yes, physical attraction is difficult to consciously change but everyone’s looks fade over time and physical attraction is only a small part of successful long term relationships. At least, that’s been my experience.
This article certainly wasn’t written in Japan… Sure there’s a few of all the stereotypes mentioned, as there are everywhere, but in the Tokyo gay area with over 500 gay bars, there are about 10 that actively welcome foreigners… No chip on the shoulder of the Japanese guys in the other 490 bars… 🙂
Good ol fashioned Japanese ethnocentrism and xenophobia! Bless their souls!
154 thoughts/comments about this article? Quite a response! I guess it struck a nerve with many….
Unfortunately the Asians that need to read this article won’t and those who don’t need to have read it five times already.
Asians do not need the approval of white people! I am sick of you white people not taking responsibility when you are in an interracial relationship! When an Asian person is with you just remember you white people are shielded from racism all the time! YOU are the one with WHITE PRIVILEGE not your Asian partner! They are still more vulnerable to racist attacks then you could ever be aware of and they are giving up a lot to be with your tired honky ass! Your Asian partner will be the target but will you be there to protect them? Or will you push them under the bush like the white boyfriend of the Black actress from Django?
who cares… if you love someone whatever
What a racist bullshit article. I do hope this is satire because if this were written as serious commentary the author is not only missing a few brain cells but also had parents that must have been non-existent.
While all setereotypes are based in some truth there are two sides to every coin. Most asian men these days have much better self esteem than they did 10 or 15 years ago which is why you see so many asian men dating each other which is great.
I’m 53, 6 feet tall and 165 work out constantly look ten years younger than my age and I do love asian men but find most want a young hot white guy or if my age want the house in the hills etc.
I’ve found these days where any race is concerned that relationships of any sort are hard to come by. With all these apps like Grindr etc sex has been devalued to the point where it’s given away like Halloween candy. I’ve met nutcases right and left that sleep with three guys a week, try to date more than one at a time or guys still having sex with an ex which to me is like a dog returning to it’s own vomit.
Younger gay men these days have very little standards or decorum and are quite self absorbed and just don’t value a good solid monogamous relationship anymore. What I’m trying to say folks is WE ARE ALL screwed not just asians or white guys.
Try and make any relationship work these days without all the above mentioned bullshit interfering. I see guys that have only been together 6 months that are in an open relationship. Have gay men really become such whores and sluts they can’t keep their dicks in their pant’s for 5 seconds? Yeah it’s pretty bad. I grew up in Los Angeles and it is pretty bad here, so many pretentious shallow types most of whom came here from somewhere else the ones born here are down to earth and no bullshit types like me.
You are bullshit!
Why is he bullshit? Can you elaborate, please.
Take a shit. Wipe your ass with toilet paper. Look at the toilet paper and smell it that’s you, Steve.
LOL. You’re so bitter.
I couldn’t agree with this post more… Luckily, I’m VERY attracted to my own race (Asians), however, I wasn’t always like that. I was always super attracted to white guys and envisioned myself dating one and never even tried to see the beauty in Asian men. I’ve always felt disgusted being Asian and would never even thought that I would want to date one. But as I grew older… I’ve grown to realize that it isn’t all about dating a handsome tall white guy and that Asians are just as handsome. I can proudly say that I’m currently dating a Vietnamese guy and couldn’t be happier. I also mainly find Asians attractive now and rarely ever catch myself looking at a white guy (unless hes SUPER attractive).
My boyfriend is Chinese, a bit older than me, also taller. And I’m white. I’ve dated people not caring about their ethnicity, maybe that’s your problem, beside the racism of others out there. All I can feel after the reading of those lines is a huge lack of confidence from his author.
You ended up being even more of a racist shithead than the people you despite. Good job.
Thanks for your perspectives. A few things I would like to bring up which are:
1) Gay Asian culture is very young compare to how early the Caucasian developed their movement.
2) Few gay Asians participated in the movement and we were never visible until last couple of decades.
3) Physical we are not as build as the Caucasians.
4) it is truth Caucasians are more popular that any other race when it comes to mix race relationship, mind you, that included heterosexuals.
5) Many Caucasians have not have the opportunity or give themselves the chance to have sex with GAMs.
6) It’s is true that Caucasians are generally better looking than Asians. Not just the light skin tone but also the facial features. By percentage, more ugly Asians than Caucasians. And this is the truth, please do not argue.
7) There are gorgeous Asian men like Peter Le and http://abagond.wordpress.com/2010/05/12/the-ten-most-gorgeous-east-asian-men-in-the-world/ but they are just not as rugged and manly Caucasians in terms if facial and body hair, bone structure.
8) There are admirers out there who love GAMs and San Francisco has the highest number. It was not like this 30 years ago. It takes time for them to accept us.
9) There are men who prefer darker men and it is just a matter of preference.
10) I am a gay Asian man, always wanted a White boy friend and ended up with a Hispanic man for 15 years. I loved him very much and I now gave a White partner.
The funny thing is he is more into Hispanic than Asians but we’ve together for 15 years.
And he chased me instead if I chased him. He is always more popular than me when we go out in SF. It’s just the way it is. He is a handsome man and am I. And no, he is not much older than me, I am only two years younger.
Stereotyping is unhealthy. Know what you like/love but more importantly, give yourself a chance to date someone outside your criteria lists.
Never say never and life would be much easier 🙂
Sorry about the typos, am typing this on an iPad.
Sorry, but the fact that you exclusively only like non Asians invalidates your arguments. You must be of a certain age and don’t get out much because there are tons of super hot, masculine, rugged, built Asian men.
There’s a reason why Asians are attracted to white men: media. All we see on the media are non-Asians.
I am regular visitor, how are you everybody?
This paragraph posted at this website is truly good.
Let’s set things straight here. This article is full of stereotypes. First of all, if SOME Asians are attracted to White guys, who is responsible for that? Can’t help being liked, right? So if these Asians, as you seem to say, can’t see past a skin color, then they are the ones who have a problem. Second, as a gay guy who has been living in Asia for 8+ years, I have come across many different people, but there are two main categories: those who stick to themselves and would never touch a white guy with a 10 foot pole (sticky rice queens), and those who unconditionally are attracted to white guys and who would almost fight with other Asians to get the guy they want (potato queens). Both are very unattractive. There’s a tiny third category, more worldly or cosmopolitan, not sure what word to use, who are not peculiar about the skin of their guy, and this is usually those I’m mot comfortable around. I won’t lie, of course I like the attention. For a quickie or a meaningless date. But for a relationship, never. How could I value someone who is attracted to me only through his twisted preconceptions? Third, there’s another thing you forgot to mention in your post: money boys. And yes, there are plenty in Asia. As whites are supposed to be rich, you see what happens. How many guys have been in relationships with a supposedly good guy, who was just in it for the money, and who kept a double life with a real boyfriend on the sides? And I’m not even talking about all the players out there. So see? Your stereotypes on white men can easily be applied equally to Asian guys. The solution? Stop thinking in terms of color and try to reach for something more meaningful. I’m angry and AngryHomosexual!
frenchy: You strike me as someone who would vote FN. Your country should have remained occupied by Germany.
It’s difficult to find knowledgeable people in this particular topic, but you sound like you know
what you’re talking about! Thanks
Awww! crackers were offended by this. Cry me a river lol
A couple things (and I’m sure I’ll get slaughtered for saying this, but oh well): First, Asian men – particularly first generation – tend to be socially inept, awkward, bland, and geeky. It makes sense, then, that they’d hook up with other socially inept, awkward, bland, and geeky guys, and, well, voila! Rice queens completely fit that mold! Secondly, Asian men, in general, gay or straight, tend not to care so much about showing what Westerners consider feminine traits. It stands to reason, then, that a gay Asian would be even more feminine, and so what he’s seeking in the white man is a “man” to his “woman” (Asian women in Asia have a bad wrap for being extremely materialistic and superficial, concerned primarily with the wealth of their partner, so essentially gaysians are being Asian women). I mean, seriously. Why do you think gaysians are obsessed with beauty pageants?
And yes, these are gross generalizations. I realize that. But I hate beating around the bush with this shit. Everyone’s so damn sensitive about it.
Joseph, I second the motion. Don’t forget the yearly Victoria Secret Fashion Show. Lol
Question: Are you you Asian or Caucasian?
Joseph: I thought you were too busy shoving Jews, Gypsies, Slavs into the gas chambers to be commenting on a post like this. How would your superiors react if they saw you wasting time as such? Into the ovens I say.
This argument is poorly constructed with a lack of evidence. The argument is basically blaming Caucasians for different races liking them, whilst hinting at them being racist using the subterfuge of one statistic from OkCupid. It’s a sweeping generalization to say that Caucasian men are the most desirable without any evidence (based purely on the writers own preference). Getting dumped for a younger model isn’t a Caucasian problem, it’s a problem in general. Saying that Caucasian men do not care about you in if you’re of a different race is a horrible thing to say, the writer has obviously been spurned by some Caucasian dick in the past, however that’s not a reason to tar everyone with the same brush. The use of the word ‘Potato’ is a racial slur, and i find that reprehensible. Finally, I’ve been in a relationship with a wonderful guy of a different race to mine for 4 years. This article is nothing but a bitter racist queen’s ramblings.
I agree about all what you said. As a young asian male living in a city with only less than 2 million people, its very hard to have your match. White guys are very insensitive and I think its because of the cultural differences. Things like this are truth and not just stereotypes. People talk because of their own experiences, so I do believe that this is not racial its a fact.
Jay,
You’re making a lot of sense in your own point of view and true, there’s a big barrier there and basing on my experience–Yes, their jerks and they have that mindset of being the prime of the racial heirarchy but in all fairness; Jerks and insensitive men varies in all colors and shape. What we don’t realize with this blog is that, we are actually giving them an ego booster and particularizing them with this hate, labeling them with this fact that you think, without even realizing that it will just make them carry on with that idea like it’s an epidemic–we’re making the jerks, a bigger jerk. Even on this blog, only a few white men disagreed and those were the men who are currently happy dating an Asian guy. Where are the others? “Just laughed and didnt care!” We need to stop with the hating and just let your self out and be known to someone who’s willing to engage time with you. If you like a white guy and if he’s being a Jerk to you, just ignore it and skip to the next chapter. White guys are all over the world I’m pretty sure there’s one for everyone. Since we said in general; meaning there are a few others that’s out of the bracket waiting for you to find him and who’s going to fall head over heels for you and would be willing to adjust for you just so he can be with you. We Asians are beautiful remember that. We just got to have that patience. You’ll never know, you might even end up with another asian. Lol
I am a 53 year guy who is in a long term relationship with an Asian guy. I was born in New Zealand. My father is Maori and my mother is English.
I write this reply in the defence of gay guys who are looking for a life connection with an Asian guy.
Many years ago I left New Zealand and settled in another country. I gave up a great job, gave up great friends and my family. This was the hardest thing in ones life but it was time for me to be clear about who I am and what I now needed to complete my life.
When I say a better life I mean I was searching for someone to love.
After I was settled into a new job (5yrs) I started to look for someone to accept me for who I am and I was also able to accept this new person into my life.
I don’t go to gay bars or clubs so I started to sign onto gay web sites hoping to meet a genuine gay Asian guy. This was a big mistake almost all of these guys who tried to date me just wanted sex or money. To be honest I’m not 6′ blue eyes and have a six pac I actually hated these sites after a while.
On one of my trips back to New Zealand, to see family and friends, I meet by chance a Chinese guy and he was 21 years younger than me at that time. At first we just chat and meet for a few coffees / dinners. I returned to were I live and we kept in touch by emails and phone calls. Twelve months later I returned to Auckland and we continued were we left off. Well you get the picture we are together and have been for many years now.
We live in a home we built together. Our families visit us however we never bring the situation up of our commitment to each other. There is this silent knowledge our families know we just don’t talk about it openly.
We work hard and share life as other married people do. Life for us is no different we keep each other safe, secure and healthy.
Now to conclude he is Chinese and 21 years younger. We never look beyond each other for anything as we are extremely happy. He was scared at the earlier stage of our life I would meet other guys. But when time passed I made it clear by my action I was in this for life.
So when you say Asian guys have little hope in finding a white guy to live life with. You may be right as I am not 100% white and I pray any gay guy who seeks a life commitment need to be happy in committing to one sole mate.
So my boyfriend and I should just set aside our affection and strong attraction for each other because we are opposite races? That’s like asking us to not be gay any longer. The author needs to find the rainbow and a brighter place. These arguments are no different than the baseless ones against interracial couplings during the civil rights era. The only valid argument you have here is that white guys are or can be dickheads……and so can Asians…….and so can Latinos……..and so can Blacks………..and so can Mixed……… You can’t line everybody up and shoot them, so you might as well find a way to love them. Meanwhile, I will keep my gay passions focused on almond eyes, black straight hair, and smooth skin with amazing personalities and rich culture. You go back to being your angry ol self. Sorry, just had to vent on this hurtful article.
I so agree.. too bad so many are affected by the white washed media and culture into a white-only thinking mode.
the white ideal beauty myth.
Wish to know some Caucasians who love Chinese. Love should be no border.
BTW my email is ztyichenm@gmail.com.
Although I appreciate some of your comments, I think many are unfair and too stereotypical. I am a Caucasian male with blonde hair and blue eyes and I find Asian men to be attractive so I think it is unfair to label everyone. I have my type too. I tend to like huskier builds and you can find that in Asian men as well. They come is all shapes and sizes just like any race. So to day a Caucasian man is only Attracted to a small petite young looking Asian up is just unfair and insulting to all Caucasian people. I am planning a trip to Tokyo very soon and I like the bearish type and I’m certain I will find many that I think are very cute and sexy. I also didn’t appreciate your interpretation on how Caucasian males age. I think I’m very critical of myself, but one thing I would say is I believe i look much younger than my age and we all don’t end up with beer guts either. So to be fair, I wish you would stop generalizing and feeding into the negative stereotypes.
White guys are racists. That’s it in a nutshell. They fear black cock and they fear Asian brains. I’m white and I don’t fear anyone. Diversity is the new catchword and if a white guy don’t like any other race than his own; he’s stupid and passe. He’s an old fucker who lives in an old white world like America. Americans are the worst. Give me a young Chinese guy any day. Better still give me a married Chinese man. Superiorio when it comes to pleasure. Old white guys probably learned how to suck from Asian or black guys. But hell, most have no skill. Look at porno and see who is the superior cocksucker: Asian and blacks and me.
Wow you are such a racist. Talk about feeding into negative stereotypes and spreading hate. Many people don’t share your views at all.
I am a white man who likes Asians only. I am not a Rice Queen. I am a Sinophile. Seduction is my forte. Love is my gift. Lovers have always been grateful as I have been rewarded. My tongue is a traveler and bodies are countries. My tongue is like a snake’s tongue. It conjures up mystery, fear and wisdom. It never disappoints. It excites, drives to distraction, and exacts an orgasm. Now I am an old man, but I am happy to know that, unlike some white thinking, age does not much when it comes to the desire of a young Asian boy. Many Chinese boys from the Mainland love old men, because they remember the love and affection they received from their grandfathers. For them and for me, it is a warm memory of warmth, kindness and unconditional love. And the sex is so much better when cocooned in this qualities. I live in remote B.C. Canada.
Grose Despite once again making horrific racist comments, no one should be dating anyone beyond a 10 year age difference. Statistically speaking, you will have nothing absolutely nothing in common with these young men and clearly you are only trying to fulfill your sexual desire. Sick
I can definitely agree with you there
Hey there. I am a China Chinese in Singapore. Kind of wired to reply you but I am just curious to know you. Like how is your impression about Chinese people, and probably how can a Chinese people like me find a Caucasian. Singapore there are lots of Caucasian and when I try to chat with them, usually they will just ignore me. It’s not that much Caucasians like Chinese people. I am just a sincer gay wish to live my life with Caucasian. Sometimes it’s annoying. Thanks for your time. Good luck.
Sincerly.
Joe
Hi Joe.
Send me an email address and we can connect. Hao bu hao. Xiexie
Such sad pathetic post. Such a victim.
And hopelessly racist. That one bitter lonely bowl of rice.
I totally agree with you. The stereotypes were all very negative and not shared by all
Roberto: Go fuck yourself. Better yet, go kill your parents first before doing so