Who doesn’t like being a hot white guy? You’re pretty much a Greek god in the gay community and there really isn’t anybody you can’t get. For others, you often find “no asians, no blacks” in dating profiles, which shows how racist and white-centric gay dating can be.
You see, there’s a totem pole of races in the gay community, with white people at the very top. It sorta goes like this: White, Latino (honorary whites), Mixed, Asian, Black, Indian, etc. This hierarchy is responsible for all kinds of phenomena in the gay world. Take, for example, the fact that Asian-White couples often consist of an older white guy with a younger Asian. Or at the very least, an Asian who’s substantially more attractive than his white counterpart. It’s never the other way around.
The bias extends to pop culture. When was the last time you saw an Asian Abercrombie model? All of the main characters on Queer as Folk were white. Heck, all the main characters in the latest HBO gay drama Looking are white even though the show is set in San Francisco where a third of gays are Asian. And of course, how can we forget about gay porn?
And so I wanted to find out for myself what every gay Asian knows – no matter how hot or young you are, you’ll suffer the inevitable Asian “discount” that’s applied when you hit the dating/hookup market. What better way than on the most shameless, unapologetic, and narcissistic venue: Grindr.
The Asian vs. White Grindr Experiment
Who’s hotter?
I whipped out two phones, loaded Grindr, and put two similar looking jocks to the test: 28, 5’10”, 170lbs, muscular, 8”uc. What’s not to like? Their profiles were exactly the same except one was Asian and the other white. I carried around the two phones for a week to different cities and here’s what happened.
Raw uncut data
So being Asian my whole life, I finally know how it feels to be a hot white guy for a week. The white guy comfortably gets 1.5 – 2x more messages than the Asian. There’s no other conclusion than it’s great to be white. You’ve got twice as many guys lined up ready to suck you off or get pounded by you.
Another thing you notice is that there are many hot guys who are simply off limits to Asians. Here’s one guy I tried to message as the Asian and it didn’t get very far. Gays love to use the “not my type” excuse as cover for any number of prejudicial preferences. When I message the same dude as the white guy, and I instantly get cockshots, details on how much he wants to pound my ass, and whether I can host.
As a hot white guy, you can expect a near 100% reply rate. In fact, you wind up with the problem that more guys are messaging you in a day than you can realistically sleep with in a month. This explains why as a white guy you can get away with being a complete douchebag. Why would you waste your time with anyone other than the cream of the crop? And why settle down when you can have an endless stream of orgies?
As an Asian, you can only hope to be so lucky to get the pleasure of a response. Just for fun, I sent a fellow Asian a message as the white guy. He thought it was some kind of joke, like I was a white guy coming to the back of the bus.
Conclusion
If you’re a hot white guy, keep on doing what you do best – being white. You’ve got it made until your skin starts to sag. But not to worry, you’ll still have younger Asians flocking to you.
If you’re not white, the only real solution to this problem is to pray to god that you’re born white next time. There’s an inherent bias against us and you need to know for all intents and purposes, you have no realistic chance of dating a hot white guy your own age. Changing the mentality of a whole community doesn’t happen overnight, and it certainly won’t happen in your generation.
Im an Asian guy,but I don’t know why i like white guy.
Aye know wy U likah white guy !
I’m Asian and from the Philippines and I’m into white guys but I guess white guys just like other white men so I’m thinking of having a white boyfriend in the future will be just a dream that won’t happen in real life…… +13108959082 my viber if who needs someone to talk to I can talk to you 😀
Listen all, for many Asians white guys are the new taste for them. I used to like white guys pretty much but since I’ve been with quite many of them now I found them so boring and sometimes disgust on how they behave. Many white guys are very arrogant when counterpart with Asians, especially travellers, they just take that advantage when they come to Asian countries, and I know at home they can’t find anybody not just because of their look but also they mind and behavior. I am Asian and I like asian guys a lot. They are more relax, kind and caring than white guys.
so …how many times were you fu#ked by white guys -being their personal slut- before you decided they were not for you??? 100 times 1000 times /// ? (remember you said you have been with many now)
I prefer Asian guys over white guys. I love their smooth, tan skin and they often have thick, black hair mmmm
This is so much bullshit. I am a kinda good looking Asian twink and I don’t have a problem getting guys on Tinder and Grindr. Occationally I get REALLY hot guys like 8.5/10, 9/10. And what is your problem with white guys? Do you ONLY like white guys? You don’t have to spend time catering to white guys then spend an hour writing an article about how shallow they are when you get rejected. Maybe you just hate yourself and you don’t even like people of races other than Caucasian. I don’t see colors. I like all races. I certaintly have some racial preferences as well but I wouldn’t complain when some people don’t find you attractive. Get over it you’re just as racist as those people you complain about. Yes life is unfair people of certain races do get more games. What you gonna do about it? Change your DNA?
This is such bullshit.I’ve fucked Asian men,black men and once this Wiccan with some weird tattoos.I’m an equal opportunity cock sucker.If I have been with more white men,it’s probably because they are 75% of the population.
Great article, thanks! Apparently everyone starts with a description, so here it goes: I am a gay male white-latino, 34yo, who lives in Vancouver. This city is like San Francisco, only smaller, Asian men abound around here. I am currently single, and I am catch LOL ( don’t want to get obnoxious, but I have been blessed by the gods with good looks)
I dated this Singaporean guy for 8 months until very recently and it was my first and only relationship with an Asian guy so far. Like every relationship it had its up and downs, but we were good to each other and we had a strong bond. Although that it’s in the past now, I just can’t get over the “Asian thing”, before this guy I was like blind to Asian males ( and there are many in this town) but now I have become a rice queen lol.
Is it physical? is it the friendly kind of naïve demeanour of Asian guys? Is it their fashion sense? (if it is in fashion they’ll go for it no matter what), is it their rather shy and introverted personalities? I don’t know, but I wish I have started way earlier dating Asian guys, because to me you guys are HOT!
wtf i dont understand why most asians only prefer white. i am viet n i for sure prefer Cuban/indian/black/middle eastern/asian but not white. guess i am lucky! Mmmm cubans…the accent melts me. i prefer men that r intact (uncut). most white arent.
I am intact (uncut) 😉
Alexander
So you like that funky dick cheese that comes with being uncircumcised?Alo uncut guys pop too soon.
I’m white and my favourite are asian boys!!!!!!
What I find fascinating is, while the author feels completely entitled to belittle white men who don’t want to date Asians, he seems to completely ignore the fact that he is presuming Asians don’t want to date Asians, either! Why be so bitter about white men ignoring you when there are SO MANY AMAZING AND HANDSOME ASIAN MEN YOUR AGE TO DATE???? You are just as much a part of the “problem” as any white guy out there, dude. Sorry.
Talking about a problem doesn’t mean to be a part of it. You are saying, why should the author critisize Whites, when there are so many Asians.
The same would be if a hetero would tell us gays, why we critisize heteros who discriminate against us gays, when there are so many gays accepting us.
Discrimination is always a bad thing.
Alexander
Look, I dont care about the data but this article is chock full of its own stereotypes but then calls out other for doing the same thing. For Christ’s sake its the second paragraph in:
“. Or at the very least, an Asian who’s substantially more attractive than his white counterpart.”
Instead of being adults and admitting that people have preferences we have to label everyone as racist or a pedophile or an egocentric asshole.
I could conduct the same experiment with a fat white guy and an asian.
I could then conclude that fat white guys are then discriminated against.
So get off your dumbass soap box and deal with the fact that people have different sexual preferences. AHEM!!! YOU ARE GAY!
Stating a preference or having one does not make you a racist any more then not liking vagina makes you a sexist. So stop crying in your fucking appletini and grow up. You wont be everyone’s thing or everyone’s ideal. I am mid 40s and I know i’m not everyone’s preference just as I have preferences. Its real life you entitled little pussies. Grow up!
#reality
I work voluntarily in an antidiscrimination association. I really think that there is often some kind of prejudice against Asian guys in our gay community.
That’s real life. And please don’t offend people who feel or notice differences and possibly discrimination. By the way, using ‘pussy’ as offending word is sexistic. It implies that being weak is a typical female thing. No one says for example: ‘little dicks’ for offending others, when they seem too sensitive to him.
Alexander
I always thought that *pussies* referred to cats who are skittish and easily scared? Are you sure that it just refers to females? Or is that just your reading of the word? Can you prove this scientifically with a linguistic study? Signifiers can be fluid too, even discriminatory ones. Read French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan on the agency of the signifier. It will blow your mind.
*like*
Thank you!!
Interesting article, I have been researching why so many asians prefer white guys. Alot of people think, they want money or something from you. The western society is generally pretty wealthy and offer security to many asian guys.
Im 32 and recently traveled to Asia. Was not too much into asian guys before i went. Met a cute guy for fun with my BF at the time. He shows me love and affection that I struggle to find with many white and theyn are very passionate. Didnt think i could find love in an asian guy, but it seems that has now changed.
I am Asian, 6’3″ normal body and have quite obvious facial features with a ‘young look’. There were many white and Asian both male and female have tired to catch up me in the past few years. However, I chose no one.
From my perspective, yes, I agree that white men are attractive because they are tall, have good facial features and smiley. However, those attractive guys are very small numbers when compared to the rest. This is as same as Asians as well. In reality, I have ignored a lot of white and Asians as I feel like they are not for me. Many of them have tried to get me but I finally run away. In fact, you have to accept that every races have both angles and demons, including white.
So for me, it doesn’t matter what is your ethic. It depends on your preference. For me, the ethic is not matter but the matter is their attitude towards me, their height as well. I have found a lot both white and Asians are anti to each other. But it is worth nothing. If people don’t like you or you don’t like anybody. Don’t take it for granted the rest will be the same. I always be opened mind and finally I will choose Asians, why?
– Their culture is fit better with my personality.
– The way they express LOVE is better, personal thing.
– Their facial features look more to love for me. Surgery could help I don’t mind.
– They age slow, as I want my bf looks similar with me. This is the truth, as I got some white friends. They age super faster, I don’t want to end up look young while my buddy looks alike my dad. Not racism but I experience it sorry.
– When I am with Asians, I feel intimate and getting crash. But this never happen with white.
So although, there are super handsome white want to get me. I won’t accept it because that is not for me. I am very pleased to have them as my friends or best but not for my romantic relationship. I feel they are not at all. Finally, I find the answer.
What differences in behaviour did you figure out between Asians and Whites?
I am White and would like to know how to treat Asians best.
Alexander
Just treat anyone like you want to be treated
Hi
I agree with you on this, I am also an asian man and after dating many white men for many years in the UK. I have now came to a conclusion that they are just not the right fit for me. Now that I am in a relationship with my asian bf it just feels right and he is more caring & romantic towards me than any of the other white men that I been with. I guess it’s the media to blame which tells us gays that Asian men want to be with White men because they are more masculine and have bigger dick (which isn’t always the truth as I have seen some small white penises before). But I have realised that sex is not everything in a relationship, I have been with my bf for 1 n half year and he makes me feel loved by doing little gestures of romantic things by surprising me with romantic home made dinner with roses and candles when I get home tried from work.
I also think that I can relate to my bf more because we both share similar culture and he is more understanding of me without getting offended. Despite the fact we are both from different asian countries some how, I like the fact that he takes time to know about my culture and language. I think for all those lonely Asian men who are waiting to get swiped away by a hot white men should explore and try dating another asian men. I have surprised myself by doing so and found myself a lucky man, always have your options open and don’t limit yourself to just white men as most them are probably not even into Asians.
This is a shame because I find Asians extremely sexy. Guess I’m a minority in the white gay world…
This is a very interesting article and i think it definitely makes a lot of important points, but I think some of them paint with to broad of a brush. I am a 23 yo black male living in LA and i get messages from/date/hookup/dump white guys all the time. Almost all of them around my age (20’s) In fact i get majority hit on by white guys (probably just because there’s more population wise). I also dont have a face pic and granted have a shirtless photo but im by no means suuuuper ripped or anything. Im a good looking, but not astronomicaly so as to where I could jump up this “totem pole” you speak of. I guess i looked mixed kind of with lighter skin n stuff but i dont really think that makes a difference, and the guys know im black. Ive def seen the profiles that have the racial “preferences” listed, and ones that say “white or latino only”-which really means light skinned can pass for white latino (but the topic if colorism is a discussion for another time) but thankfully i feel like that’s swiftly. becoming a thing of the past, and the people who write that or practice that are in the minority, not the majority, and i think the gay community should be commended for it. I mean the thing i would say I’m discriminanted against the most for is being not built enough or too young/boyish looking. Also i love Asian guys. I would just hate for any young gay boy of color to read this and feel less than, or that they have a tough road ahead of them in finding partners strictly because of the color of their skin. Because you honestly don’t, due to other factors maybe, but hot is hot. And i think that there is also more to be said for people of color who only, or even primarily like white partners only, love yourself. Asians blacks indians etc are hot like everyone else. Obviously everyone’s story is different and personalized to their own experiences but i just wanted to share mine. Be kind 🙂
I bet you’re only top and state that in your profile. There are always white guys on the prowl for BBC. Either that, or the white guys writing you are not the best quality I would venture to guess (no shade). You’re likely just a pawn in the game.
I love Asian mean and I am white however I think your data is skewed. In the USA, perhaps gay men want white men more but the prejudices are reversed in other countries or even in the USA when it comes to marriage with hetrosexual men. My best friend is white and is very attracted to asian women. He can date them but when it comes down to meeting the family or marriage, forget about it. When it’s time to get serious they drop him for an Asian man to meet the family. He is 29, 6-4, works out, nice body, educated. Everything you would want, but he is NOT Asian. Also, a lot of Asian men I’ve met want perfection, even though themselves were not. I am white, been told attractive, work out, education, etc, but have been told by Asian men that I am too old at 40-LOL, or I need more muscles (i work out and have muscles but no Arnold here) while the one shooting the insult was all of 110 lbs! So it goes both ways. The realty is, who cares. If someone doesn’t want you, then you don’t want them anyway. There is all kinds of discrimation in the gay community and racism is just one. Try ageism. Just read the ads–“No one over 35” etc, etc. My advise: look for the men that want you instead of the ones that do not.
Hi,
As I was bored at work browsing the Internet, found your Website/ Blog and read some of your articles, which I generally like. Actually I find a lot of your points are true, but why do Asians always so badly want a white guy in America?
I am from Germany (Berlin) and moved 5 years ago to Canada (Toronto). Back home, all those issues never existed to me. I dated black guys, Asians and white Guys. Obviously every person has preferences, but mine were never really based on ethnic backgrounds.
Only since I married and moved to Toronto, I constantly get hit on or when I go out to gay bars touched by Asians etc. and I even wear a wedding ring, don’t use Grindr or dating apps at all. I am kind of a smaller/ shy person and don’t really talk much, so absolutely not the person who gives the impression of wanting to date or hook up.
It really is annoying to be honest and makes me wonder sometimes why every gay person around here is so extremely focused on wanting a white bf.
Well, now I’m not.
I’ll pay attention to whoever that cares for me. I would not care to remove white from my life if they hurt and ignore me.
Oh I would be happy to have that many non-White gays around me. Because I am especially into non – white people. They attract me very much.
I am red blonded and very white. So I love the opposite to me most.
Alexander
I feel ya mate. I get this too being slim. I got this in China too. Seems like Asian guys are only into whote guys if they look like Captain America. Anything less – not interested lol.
Good points!
Of course you can find l couple of hot Asian and white with similar ages, but the point here is that the number of this sort of couple wouldn’t have STATISTICAL SIGNIFICANCE
Hullo,
Here’s my experience as a person of Indian descent living in France….well it’s worse here
In the US at least Asians, East Asians or South Asians, have the reputation of being educated and well-off, here in France this hasn’t happened yet
So when I, as a brownie put my picture on Grindr, I have to state that I’m a law student because I literaly get mistaken for some illegal non-french speaking migrant from Bangladesh
As far as looks are concerned, I completely agree with the author and here’s a damning experience
Someone on Grindr said “I prefer white skin”…I sent him a message saying that he could have stated his preferences in a more civilised way
He then told me that he can’t no say to everybody, as in a month he got 1240 messages and you know what? He doesn’t even show his face on the app, just his back and has his shirt on…BUT he is white
I have a face pic, I’m probably not the most handsome man out there, but my profile has at least some info and I consider myself lucky if I get 10 messages per month and this guy with no true picture is getting 1240 messages in one month
And he wasn’t lying as he sent me a screen shot and I did see how he kept getting messages every minute from other guys
The only difference between him and me is ethnic origin and no denying will change that
Though I do tend to find white guys handsome relatively more often than other ethnic groups, I also like my own ethnic group, Indian, unfortunately here in Paris there’s not a lot of them…
Dear Manish, I am White and into non-White people. You write very intelligently and friendly. I would be very appreciated to read from you and to get into contact with you.
Yours
Alexander
Hey there. I’m Dutch, slim, tall, good-looking, not old just yet etc. & I like Sth Asian guys. I don’t exclude any ethnicity. If you’re hot, then you’re hot. Why exclude potential hotties just becoz of a hang-up about “race” (a concept which doesn’t even exist). So there’s hope yet.
what a clever experiment~
It’s very white people-oriented perspective. I am Korean and don’t want to have sex with Westerners either. I do not feel sexy or anything from them. Isn’t it just that we get more attracted towards the same races or Asians to Asians? I hope you don’t mislead us with a twisted picture of reality.
I’m white, 50 and my asian bf is 62. What’s your problem?
Time to change angryhomosexual into whininghomosexual!
lol and? you’re the outlier, not the norm.
damn creepers are stupid.
Hmm, well, you are ONLY looking at guys under 30.
Try being White or any race over 55 and see how rude, nasty or at least ignored you will be. My point is that We all are the victims of such out and out prejudice.
It is rampant and widespread. The question is how you personally deal with it and to make sure you are not part of the problem.
Go after people your own age, maybe, you p3dophile.
I hope when you’re over 55, you are ignored by everyone, you hateful piece of shit.
he notes: If you’re a hot white guy, keep on doing what you do best – being white. You’ve got it made until your skin starts to sag. But not to worry, you’ll still have younger Asians flocking to you…..
so i guess there is still hope out there 4 you 🙂
I’m white and have always preferred Asian and indian.
thanks. u make me feel good lol
thank you. I am an Asian 🙂
thank you from an Asian 🙂
Hmmmmmm i love asian guys…..
Contact me on whatsapp +447872180781
.
I love white guys 🙂
Hi Luke I love Asian guys x
Luckily,I gotta forget my dream to get a white bf.