If you’re gay and want to get laid (or find your soulmate) you’ve probably heard of Grindr or Jack’d. They’re the early ones, have very large user bases, and a world-wide reach. Anybody who’s traveled knows that you can find a hookup pretty much anywhere using one of those apps.
Now, despite the wide-reaching audience, certain groups gravitate towards certain apps, such as Scruff for bears, or Recon for BDSM. It’s no secret that Asians and their Rice Queen admirers have flocked to Jack’d.
The makers of Jack’d recently spiffed up their app to stay ahead of the competition. There’s a slick new interface and new features designed up from the ground up. There’s even a new welcome screen with a rotating carousel of hot guys. It all looks very nice, except for one little omission… no Asians.
Yes, in a spectacular display of white bias, the makers of Jack’d couldn’t be bothered to include a single picture of a gay Asian on their welcome screen, despite the fact that the app is basically a giant, steaming rice cooker.
Out of five pictures, there are precisely zero Asians. You have two white guys, a Latino, a black guy, and even a guy who appears to be mixed. Surely you say this could just be an unconscious omission in no way intended to snub gay Asians, but I have a hard time believing that given their efforts to be racial diverse.
The majority of the world’s population (60%) is Asian yet they couldn’t be bothered to include a single one. Maybe the makers of Jack’d are uncomfortable that we’re the biggest users of their app and want to shed their rice paddy reputation.
The app is rubbish anyway. Where I am there are mostly Asians on it, which is fine as I am a rice queen, but they never answer messages or when they do, even worse; they organize a date and then stop replying. It’s not like I ain’t hung either lol. I’ve blocked more guys on Jack’d than any other app. I have no idea what’s going on there, if anything so I’ve just deleted it. Waste of time.
As a black gay man I can understand your sentiments about being discriminated against. I honestly feel like society doesn’t put out a good representation of men or women of color which in turn makes us undesirable not only to the white race but sadly and ironically enough to each other.
However, as of recently I have seen more and more positive representations of Black, Latino and Asian men/women, so slowly but surely we will reach an equilibrium of desirability for one another regardless of race.
On the contrary I found it funny how Asian men complain about being discriminated against from white men when in fact I see tons of Asian men discriminate not only against their own Asian ethnic groups but also against other non white races. It’s hypocritical and it shows you how whitewashed ethnic groups are about bring desirable towards whites only.
I am 22years of age and originally I was only attracted to black men only because those were the ones I was exposed to early in life. However as years past my social environments began to diversify in race and it exposed me to many different racial groups and their unique physical features which made me not inky appreciate my features but also appreciate other features. So I can say there is not one ethnic/racial group on this planet that doesn’t have an attractive man or woman that I wouldn’t date.
Nonetheless, I like to think I’m a cultured person. I love studying languages so I’ve exposed myself to many different social environments around the world which helps solidify my attraction to many different people including Asian men.
I won’t say I date any racial group exclusively but I do find Asian men very attractive ranging from pale to brown skin, short or tall, feminine and masculine. But it seems like Asian men are so whitewashed that I wouldn’t be able to find a date with them. It’s funny because it mainstream Asian cultures that are exposed to white glamorizing most if not all of them that unfortunatley become white washed will never encounter a white male or female on a regular basis. I find their obsession with whiteness saddening because they miss out on great people that are non white.
Until society begins to fully and whole heartedly appreciate the beauty of all racial groups, the desirability of this groups will be at odds. Nonetheless, it creates a fetishism, hypocritical, blind mentality amongst non white groups to do discriminate against other and never find a life long partner.
Black gays are some of the most racist gays there are, this myth of the colorblind black man is a lie. I’ve never felt more unwelcome than in a black gay club, in my experience basically they think of Latin as an extension of black and Asian as an extension of white, most black gay men don’t even hang out with gaymen that are not black and they will have no problem telling you that. Black gays always want to play the victim meanwhile a large number perpetrate racism in gay life … How many jackd Grindr scruff Adam profiles say black only / no whites … About 1/2. I’m Thai I date everybody and I have never been made to feel as unwelcome as when I go to any black gay club the black queens make sure I know I’m not supposed to be there I’ve gone to “white” I say it in quotes because white clubs are always mixed, Spanish clubs, Asian clubs middle eastern clubs everywhere else is roughly mixed up and welcoming black clubs nah your not welcome they want no one there besides a couple token Latins I feel bad if a white guy showed up he’d probably not be allowed in ….. Hypocrisy racism and not cool
Well said
Can asian gay men please explain why they refuse to date anyone else who is also asian and gay. It’s like you go for white/black guy by default. Why do you hate yourselves so much and then blame everyone else? Grow the fuck up.
It’s so ironic that this pseudo-article is meant to oppose racism but the writer is the vertex of racism himself. Pathetic.
The reason why us white guys don’t like asians is because the majority have bad physical traits (slanted eyes, flat noses, short, skinny, out of shape, very small dicks) that make them appear effeminate. I like masculine men, not little boys/girls.
That being said, I have met a few asians who are hot, their eyes were not so slanted, western-like nose, buff gym bods, avg-tall height, masculine personalities. One of the hottest guys I’ve hooked up with was half-vietnamese half-german.
I found this comment insulting. I like all racial types but have a preference for East asians and…redhead Europeans. Don’t ask me why. If I had to choose for a one night stand btwn an attractive red head or asian… I would have to toss a coin to decide! One likes what one likes. One likes what one likes. Some like modern art, some only like classical art. Some like all art forms. if some people have a fantasy about, say, being dominated by a “macho” blackman, well so be it. It’s nobodies business.
Did you read what you typed? You sound just as racist! There is no such thing as bad physical traits! You believe there are only because “white”media has brainswashed you into believing Caucasian features are superior. I hate to burst your bubble but they’re not. Everyone’s features are just as beautiful as anyone else’s.
And you only find Asian men slightly attractive when they’re mixed with Caucasian features. IRONIC!
I’ve recently been on Jack’d and I can see the login page now features Asian models! Keep it up, Queer POCS! Our voices can no longer be ignored!
Everyone has preference im hung top i like latino asian white bottom preferably with tattoo that makes me racist no it makes me into white asian latino bubble butts with tattoo thats all … So if the white guy dont like you hes not racist he just dont like you move on find someone who does… I encounter many black guy that think im bottom and want to fuck me i say no thanks cuz i have nice bubblebutt they say oh u racist lil dick chink i said no im top with big chinese sausage you racist piece of shits … I move on i dont think that all the black guy are like that just because it happen frequently .. So leave the potato alone find someone else!
Well said. One likes what one likes and no one choses what or who they like. I like asian guys but also red heads! All races are attractive to me but if I go to a club looking, then it’s the Asian and redheads who I will spot and be more likely to try and pull. Of course, just be Asian or redhead is not enough. Personality aswell as looks is important…so ( if I pull) it could be any race that I end up going home with.
My ex who is Japanese (I am chinese) developed the app and still involved with it and obviously the marketibg team thinks asians arent key, its gay asian duty to boycott it instead of going on looking for rice queens like they do !
Dear angry homo, you’re part of the problem! I mean really you sure are good at labeling everyone!!!!! You are just as bad if not worse!!!!!
The more I read these posts, the more I’m reminded of who I used to be and how I saw myself a victim of genetics. I used to blame being asian for lack of dating or sexual options, but the reality was that I just wasnt physically attractive and wasnt interesting. So what if the person you’re attracted to doesn’t reciprocate? Get over it. Theres a point where you have to stop blaming others because you cant get what you want. Imagine being in a wheelchair, or having a congenital defect. It could be alot worse. All these posts are about superficial attraction. If the guys that I dated were only into my looks, I wouldnt have been able to date anyone at all.
Where I failed in looks, I made up in hobbies and focusing on meaningful relationships with those already in my life. You have no idea of how much despair and depression I saved myself when I just stopped looking for a guy that never existed. Instead, I started asking myself what the guy I want would want out of me. Can I be that guy? Nope. Im not social, I dont drink, I was into esoteric hobbies and found someone fairly similar through a mutual friend.
I worked a popular gay bar in San Francisco in my early 20s and it had a profound effect on how I saw myself in relation to others. I did everything I could to fit in, but I was just too socially awkward. So I just watched and lived vicariously through everyone else. I had so never worked with so many attractive guys either, so that really helped with whatever self.esteem issues I had. It also polluted any fantasies I had of dating.
Where I used to feel other gay asian men were competition, I now feel empathy. It takes experience and time to temper these deeply ingrained frustrations, but theres a point in time where we also need to grow up and get over ourselves and our afflictions. Stop wasting life trying to convince others of your worth if you cant also put the same amount of energy proving to yourself that youre worthy.
That speech is good and all, but how does that help Asians get the dick?
Because it sounds like you lowered your standards rice queen style, into a LTR. Asians should focus less on dating white guys for their self-esteem and more on creating great gay porn.
Son you seem very nice im happy for your post
Asian Guys are smooth, young looking forever, and usually smart and very usually polite and thoughtful. I don’t get the issue with them. I love Asian guys. I’m not a rice queen but I have never had a negative experience with an Asian man.
Seriously dude, you sound like a total creepy old rice queen. Just how many stereotypes do you subscribe to? Jeez..
I don’t think it’s racist to suggest Asians are generally polite. The cultrue of many asian countries is concerned with “face” and the casual rudeness of western soceties is less prominent. Of course, there are always exceptions but it’s not racist to say most British are politer than Americans. The Americans are not a seperate race but their cultrue is different.
Come on! It’s soo fine. I used to be the only girl in a group of guys, and I know for a fact that when no one else in the group wanted to go to the moives, 2 would go together and not fear looking gay. Because they’re not. As long as you’re not all over each other, its not at all bad.=]
Yeah you’re right, your friend is hhpomoobic and he sounds paranoid. I do a lot of stuff one on one with my straight buddies ..fishing, hiking, going to movies, going out to eat, get ice cream, go for walks, etc I’m gay, but my buddies are all straight. Your friend just needs to relax. Its not gay to go to a movie with a guy unless they have sex afterwards.
To Johnnyboy. Are you kidding me. gay men that are attracted to blacks are always for the tops. Even black tops prefer lighter skin bottoms. And asians are the Majority users . The app is world wide. some areas are certain color heavy.
The guys with small penises that is.
Hung Asian, Latino, white, black, etc tend to prefer the blacks if they aren’t into blondes.
I’m a 34 year old, openly gay Asian of Chinese and Burmese ancestry and I found this website, because I was curious of the general “gay Asian dating experience.” I personally experienced similar treatment as the author of the website; however, I decided to live and let live. It’s unpleasant to be declined due to race. I have hope that the gay “community” will continue to evolve and embrace diversity. The first several declines from both Caucasians and other mixed races—I “kind of” prefer biracial men and South Asian men—I was infuriated and if the OP of this website didn’t start this website, I could have easily started authoring my own at my self-hosted photography and personal blog!
No one likes rejection, especially for traits I cannot control, e.g. my racial makeup. I got used to it and grew several layers of metaphorical skin and hopes I’m able to procure myself a husband when I’m in my forties. I discovered Jack’d and paid for a single month, because in the Android version, they used to have an Asian in their screenshots on the Google Play download section. I don’t remember seeing any Asians in other apps.
The final message I want the OP to consider and taken into consideration is the following: I know you’re upset and I guess this blog is a way for you to channel you frustration. I personally have my photography and personal blog to keep myself sane. I have a habit of bottling my thoughts and it’s unhealthy mental health practice. Instead of feeling frustration and angst towards variables and conditions that you and I can’t controlled—will you consider diverting your annoyances towards something positive?
When I get frustrated, I give myself personal photography projects and I managed to transform my annoyances towards the gay dating experiences into creative works that I showcase at my blog and at my portfolio section of my website. No matter how much steam you get off from the dating experiences you and I—as well as several gay Asians have commented—I don’t think the racism in the gay community will vanish overnight. There will always be racist and mean-spirited people in all walks of life with all gender identifications.
I’ve decided to get rid of “online dating” as a way to meet gay men. I joined several local interest-focused groups on Meetup, that’s not sexual-orientation based. I’m somewhat shy person. It would be for my benefit to learn to become more outward and socially active. I enjoyed reading the OP’s other posts and writing is an excellent outlet.
There is absolutely no fault to be found in the author’s bitter words. Personal attacks against him do not make them any less true.
What the author may have failed to mention is that these gay dating/sex apps were not created for your happiness. They were created so that someone could make money. The blatantly whitewashed marketing that sustains these empty applications is abhorrent, racist and derogatory.
If there were any sense at all within our (that is, the gay) community, we would fight to destroy the stereotypes and motivations at the core of this issue at every turn. Instead, we hand them our money. Because getting laid is more important.
Gay Asian men are funny, intelligent beautiful and world-class lovers. No amount of American-made whitewashing can alter this truth. They deserve to be revered, desired, marketed and exploited as much as any man of any another race.
You should tell us something about yourself, Let us see your true face and how ugly you are. No matter what you looks like, I believe most of Asians looks better than you, you keep using negative words to describe the whole community just basing on your lonely basement experience/statistics.
You can rename your website: “angry ugly gay men who are dreaming to kiss the white’s asses.”
Meanwhile. I guess you come from the white colony – southeast Asia, or you are a white trash who keep getting rejected by Asian guys.
You should tell us something about yourself, Let us see your true face and how ugly you are. No matter what you looks like, I believe most of Asians looks better than you, you keep using negative words to describe the whole community just basing on your lonely basement experience/statistics.
You can rename your website: “angry ugly gay men who is dreaming to kiss the white’s asses.”
Meanwhile. I guess you come from the white colony – southeast Asian, or you are a white trash who keep getting rejected my Asian guys.
This was so helpful and easy! Do you have any arlectis on rehab?
Have you seen the extremely racist and male chauvanist: polariproject.com? It supposed to be for gay men. Yeah. White gay men.
1. Asians arent the biggest users of the app, black men are.
2. The major of users who use that app desire black guys, black bottoms exclusively.
3. They used models every demographic finds attractive, even asian guys.
I am so proud we have a strong voice like you in the gay asian community. Oh I love you so much, you are so straight forward. You tell it how it is! Love you!!!! I would marry you if you were available. You need to tell these white loving low self esteem asians to wake up and stop self hating . These potato queens makes asians look bad!!! I just feel so disgusted when I see this young cute asian guy with this old fat white dude walking down Castro; I just want to go up to the asian and bitch slap him. Fucking make people think asians are gold diggers. Get a man your own age or at least someone decent if you like them White!!! This is why these old white hags think every single asian guy wants them on Jackd’. Sticky Asian United!!!!
Seriously, The whiny GAM has to be be one of the most pitiful beings on the planet. Do you know why all of the ads are of young white guys? It’s because that’s the kind of guys that most Asian guys are also so they will get lots more Asian guys using the app with these ads then then an ad without them. Asians very much like the waspy all American look, whether it suits them or not. Why is Abercrombie and Fitch and sister Brands Hollister so popular among Asians? It’s time for people like this author take a good look at themselves instead of pointing fingers at others. After all didn’t this whole blog/site get started because of angst/frustration of not being able to snag a white guy? lol Btw I am Asian.
I mentioned what you said myself. But I also mentioned who this site is advertised to.
Guys who look like the models seen tend to be into black guys, especially the black bottom variety.
ok. so which is worse? having a personal ad that specifies ” no asians ” or replying to a blind/ non specified ad THEN being told the one who posted isn’t into asians? if you saw a sign on a door saying Keep Out, would you still attempt to gain entry? why?! you obviously aren’t welcomed. as an older GAM, i must be jaded and come to accept/expect this as the norm. however, i’m glad todays younger generation isn’t as accomodating.
While you should respect other people’s preferences, you shouldn’t have to accept ANYTHING as a norm.
Especially since I see old white men attracting all kinds of young guys……
There are a lot of young white guys who like older guys.
as an older (55+) tall (5’11”) GAM, it doesnt surprise me to find gay asians ignored/not represented/dismissed from dating sites. its the first thing i notice.yet the last thing i come to expect.unless the site is asian specific.then i realize the GWMs there would be more receptive.but must we (GAM+GWM) separate/segregate ourselves? why cant we all be in the mix of available/desireable men?
You didn’t mention your weight……
Hi… I just noticed your comment about the images on Jack’d …I’m a white guy and actually had sex with the guy that promotes Jack’d and he flys all around all South East Asia attending events, clubs, parties, selling the App to businesses… Basically he has an incredible PR job and I was serious jealous I wanted to just die 😏… But can I tell you one big twist to your angst.. He’s a very nice, well grounded ASIAN guy ….and woah! amazing in bed!!!! 😚…. So maybe the marketing is actually steered towards Asian guys with those images to make asian guys interested in the product… Not sure if you saw it from that angle perhaps…
Thanks 😋
Totally agree. I’ve seen more often than not asian men discriminate against other asian men (to be specific asian men of east asian or south east asian origin). It wouldn’t surprise me that these welcome ads are chosen simply to entice Asian users 🙂 No smoke without fire eh. Either way, its a sad world when asians themselves have been whitewashed into thinking that they are not masculine or inferior to white or other races…
I hear and feel your frustration over the Representational / Exclusion issues you critique here. Not sure what the solution is. How do you / Asian Gay men work toward dismantling the White privileged racial hierarchy of “desirability”, that inherently insists that Asian somehow aren’t “masculine enough”, that their physical features don’t correspond to what is always posited as “rugged” or “sexy” ? You will take note that 4 of the men represented all have facial hair or some kind of fuzz. And of course, Blondie is fully on display almost stealing the centre. Likewise, the token Black guy that you point out, doesn’t even look Black to me, rather he appears to be light-skinned with some Caucasoid features. What does this have to say about Black desirability vis a vis Whiteness? So the so-called Black man must look somewhat White to even qualify as being “hot”, handsome, etc…? Also, what about that tricky intermediate area of Brown – South Asian men…? Don’t ever see them represented as models of hot desirability either. I find it all sad as well, but not sure any kind of Protest will lead to any genuine sympathy for the cause of better inclusion on Gay apps/dating sites. All that will happen is that Asians will be dismissed by Whites as “whiners” and “complainers” cause they couldn’t get a affirmative action spot—blamed for their own plight. I often question where these Apps get their models from? Are they Porn actors ? If Asian (American) men performed in more Porn, were on naked display more, then the chances of inclusion would be greater? Is this the answer? A rhetorical / facetious argument. I don’t have an answer to the vexing question. But it is an interesting post on the ways in which White imagery / privilege and power continues to operate and colonizes our gaze.