Many gay Asians have a problematic addiction to potatoes, aka white guys. I was there myself. For years, I always pictured the “ideal guy” for me to be a dashingly handsome white guy with the perfect features – blue eyes, sandy hair, and a bit taller than me.
Lucky for me, I woke up in time to smell the coffee. Many of my fellow gay Asians aren’t so fortunate. They stick to their proverbial guns and hang to the pipe dream of landing a white male model, even when they’re years past their dating prime.
If you’re a potato queen, I have news for you. You need to get over your addiction to white guys ASAP. Here’s why:
1. You need white guys more than they need you
For every white guy who’s open to dating an Asian, there are no fewer than 3 Asians fighting for his attention.
White guys are the least willing of all the races to date outside their own racial group, and when they do, there’s plenty of competition for them.
Don’t believe me? The folks over at OkCupid, one of the biggest free dating sites, collect statistics on this stuff. The picture isn’t rosy…
- White guys are almost 4 times as likely as Asians to say they strongly prefer to date someone of their own race (43% vs 12%)
- White guys only reply to Asians 35% of the time when they make contact, whereas Asians respond 55% of the time to white guys
See the disparity? There’s a much bigger potential pool of Asians seeking white guys, which means it’s a white guy’s market. Actually, going strictly by reply rates (read the chart vertically downwards), white men are the biggest snobs on OkCupid, with the lowest reply rates of anyone.
And even if you get lucky…
2. You’ll eventually get dumped for a younger, cuter Asian
White people invented the concept of leasing a car and trading it in when it’s old, and they’ve carried that concept over to their dating lives too.
97% of the time when you see an East-West (Asian-White) couple, it’s an older white guy with a substantially younger Asian. Because there are many more Asians seeking white guys than vice versa, white guys have plenty of choice, while potato-seeking Asians have to settle for whatever they can get. Usually, it’s an older, often chubbier white guy who, for all his shortcomings, is, well, white.
Years down the road when you’re getting a bit long in the tooth, you can expect to be traded in for a younger, hotter Asian model, and there will be plenty of those to choose from.
3. Rice queens don’t care about you as an individual
Although your average white guy is a poor dating choice for all the reasons above, you should be extra suspicious of rice queens.
A rice queen is a special variety of white guy that primarily (or exclusively) dates Asians. You may think that you’ve hit pay dirt when you land a rice queen, but you should beware – they only like you because you’re Asian.
White guys become rice queens because they like smooth skin, smaller bodies and what they perceive as more submissive personalities of Asian guys. When a rice queen sees you, he notices only those features he’s attracted to, not necessarily your other qualities.
At some point down the road, your rice queen will find an even better Asian who embodies even more of the qualities he likes, and you might end up sitting on the curb on garbage day.
4. Potatoes age faster
White guys age faster than us Asians, at least on the surface. Caucasian skin tends to be thinner and looser, and more susceptible to wrinkling at an earlier age. White men also gain a considerable amount of weight sometime after their early 20s, and that weight gain continues steadily until middle age, at which time it’s pretty rare to find a white guy who doesn’t have a visible beer gut.
What this means is that your 25-year-old Abercrombie model will see his looks depreciate considerably by age 35, and will almost certainly wind up in the visual bargain bin by age 45. How often do you hear people saying to white guys “OMG you’re 38?? You look 10 years younger!” And yet it happens all the time to Asians.
5. You will end up old and lonely
For all the reasons above, you’re unlikely to land the white guy of your dreams. And even if you luck out, it may be short lived.
A disproportionate number of my old, lonely gay friends are Asians and the one thing they share in common is a strong preference to date exclusively white guys. Year after year as they age they become even less attractive to the white guys who, as we’ve seen, have plenty of younger, cuter Asians to choose from.
If gay Asians want to do themselves a favor, they might consider being more open-minded to dating any other race besides white men, perhaps even giving other Asians a chance. It’s probably not a good idea to base a relationship on superficial physical criteria like skin, hair or eye color, which narrows down your choice of partners. Yes, physical attraction is difficult to consciously change but everyone’s looks fade over time and physical attraction is only a small part of successful long term relationships. At least, that’s been my experience.
It is actually cruel and insightful fact. I have been dumped by my ex-partner and now he has endless young Asian chasing after him. He was treating me like a replaceable item.
But Now I am going into my 40s, actually I found myself easier to date white guys than my younger age. Due to the fact that I get more experience in dating, more financial stable, more confident and well spoken, and much more well travelled. So I am not in a desperate situation as well. I am in Thailand and I find myself more popular than any of the muscular young Thai boy. I guess age do give you some adventure and disadvantage
I lived in Japan a while ago and dreamed of having a Japanese lover. I still do although I’m 62. I’d love a Japanese man around my age. I think this article discounts love and genuine affection.
Hello! 64 year old Midwest GAM would like to converse with you. Our experiences, your travels etc.
I find this article absolutely biased and there seem to be some level of anger in it – with the head of the site, it makes sense. Yes it does happen, some of the situations that the author mentioned. But two of different colours of skin in a relationship does NOT mean it has to be in a relationship with race.
Well I know this article is not objective in many aspects, but as an asian gay man who prefer white men for some physical reasons…I admit I feel l am so shallow after reading this article. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t let any white guy I am interested in to be interested in me. I have advanced degree in engineering field, but I obviously am a ignorant dumb in the gay dating world. I wanna say it is probably true I have to compete with at least 3 other asians and it is also possible I will get dumped if my guy fall in love with another younger guy, but isn’t this also true in straight world? Despite some insecure feelings emerge, what I can do is continue to make myself better and wait for the right one.
Well first of all I think your comments are kind of biased and racist if I may. I am white, duh, lol and I have dated every color and size of man. People are people and if you are superficial as many people of every color and sex are you will attract those.
I found the love of my life and he happens to be Asian. It did not matter to me if he was the color purple. I think if more gay Asian men like many of my black gay friends were to shed the idea of being different and ignore the stupid white guys out there you would be better off. Dumb is color blind.
After all, as much as online dating services is concerned,
the Internet remains to be a virtual world, plus some individuals are
not shy about lying to other people. Men can join an online dating sites site
with a few few corresponding fees and infrequently for free.
Even if you follow these steps, you can find just things that won’t work.
I love Chinese men. I also love Japanese men. Both nationalities are gorgeous to me PHYSICALLY. But my favourite type is Cantonese – adorable south China males.
The first time I went to a beach in HK I nearly had a heart attack. Those golden boys in Speedos!
But I can never decide which national character I prefer: Chinese or Japanese. So I am not sure if I can ever find my perfect partner.&
I do believe all of the ideas you’ve presented to your post.
They’re really convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for novices.
May you please extend them a little from next time?
Thanks for the post.
You sound salty, someone dumped you huh?
A salty potato? Sweet rice? Oh, my! ❤💛💕💘💔
I’m white and I have never been with an Asian male. All I’ve seen was photos. Asian men are very attractive. Honestly I would be with Asian over my own any day.
Your being open to meeting Asians is very refreshing. You’ll surely be welcomed. And your patience rewarded. Hang in there. Don’t give up hope. Good things will happen to you!
I am not East Asian, but you are correct about rice queens.
me i want an asian guy and yes i am white
i do find them very attractive
not for the reason you said
i have dated one and would want one in my life for real
i am asian, we can be friend. who knows if we will meet someday 🙂
Best of luck and sincere good wishes on your search for that special someone. I am Asian who still believes in love.
I know this is an old post but I surprised no one responded. This article is flat out insulting. I’m in a mixed gay marriage and have been with my Asian husband for 18 years. We are still giddy in love with each other. I also know many other happy couples that are mixed. This author generalizes too much and with one broad stroke labels all white men that have an attraction to Asian men as pervs with some ulterior motives of finding a servile sex slave. I think that people of all races should be more open to dating outside their own race–especially since race is an illusion (study DNA and science). The author obviously has had a bad experience and in a case of sour grapes wishes to lash out. You sir, are too hung up on race. You are practicing what you seem to be saying all white folks are practicing–racism. Get over it and look for a good man period and stop buying into the illusion of race. Maybe then you won’t be so bitter and angry.