Many gay Asians have a problematic addiction to potatoes, aka white guys. I was there myself. For years, I always pictured the “ideal guy” for me to be a dashingly handsome white guy with the perfect features – blue eyes, sandy hair, and a bit taller than me.
Lucky for me, I woke up in time to smell the coffee. Many of my fellow gay Asians aren’t so fortunate. They stick to their proverbial guns and hang to the pipe dream of landing a white male model, even when they’re years past their dating prime.
If you’re a potato queen, I have news for you. You need to get over your addiction to white guys ASAP. Here’s why:
1. You need white guys more than they need you
For every white guy who’s open to dating an Asian, there are no fewer than 3 Asians fighting for his attention.
White guys are the least willing of all the races to date outside their own racial group, and when they do, there’s plenty of competition for them.
Don’t believe me? The folks over at OkCupid, one of the biggest free dating sites, collect statistics on this stuff. The picture isn’t rosy…
- White guys are almost 4 times as likely as Asians to say they strongly prefer to date someone of their own race (43% vs 12%)
- White guys only reply to Asians 35% of the time when they make contact, whereas Asians respond 55% of the time to white guys
See the disparity? There’s a much bigger potential pool of Asians seeking white guys, which means it’s a white guy’s market. Actually, going strictly by reply rates (read the chart vertically downwards), white men are the biggest snobs on OkCupid, with the lowest reply rates of anyone.
And even if you get lucky…
2. You’ll eventually get dumped for a younger, cuter Asian
White people invented the concept of leasing a car and trading it in when it’s old, and they’ve carried that concept over to their dating lives too.
97% of the time when you see an East-West (Asian-White) couple, it’s an older white guy with a substantially younger Asian. Because there are many more Asians seeking white guys than vice versa, white guys have plenty of choice, while potato-seeking Asians have to settle for whatever they can get. Usually, it’s an older, often chubbier white guy who, for all his shortcomings, is, well, white.
Years down the road when you’re getting a bit long in the tooth, you can expect to be traded in for a younger, hotter Asian model, and there will be plenty of those to choose from.
3. Rice queens don’t care about you as an individual
Although your average white guy is a poor dating choice for all the reasons above, you should be extra suspicious of rice queens.
A rice queen is a special variety of white guy that primarily (or exclusively) dates Asians. You may think that you’ve hit pay dirt when you land a rice queen, but you should beware – they only like you because you’re Asian.
White guys become rice queens because they like smooth skin, smaller bodies and what they perceive as more submissive personalities of Asian guys. When a rice queen sees you, he notices only those features he’s attracted to, not necessarily your other qualities.
At some point down the road, your rice queen will find an even better Asian who embodies even more of the qualities he likes, and you might end up sitting on the curb on garbage day.
4. Potatoes age faster
White guys age faster than us Asians, at least on the surface. Caucasian skin tends to be thinner and looser, and more susceptible to wrinkling at an earlier age. White men also gain a considerable amount of weight sometime after their early 20s, and that weight gain continues steadily until middle age, at which time it’s pretty rare to find a white guy who doesn’t have a visible beer gut.
What this means is that your 25-year-old Abercrombie model will see his looks depreciate considerably by age 35, and will almost certainly wind up in the visual bargain bin by age 45. How often do you hear people saying to white guys “OMG you’re 38?? You look 10 years younger!” And yet it happens all the time to Asians.
5. You will end up old and lonely
For all the reasons above, you’re unlikely to land the white guy of your dreams. And even if you luck out, it may be short lived.
A disproportionate number of my old, lonely gay friends are Asians and the one thing they share in common is a strong preference to date exclusively white guys. Year after year as they age they become even less attractive to the white guys who, as we’ve seen, have plenty of younger, cuter Asians to choose from.
If gay Asians want to do themselves a favor, they might consider being more open-minded to dating any other race besides white men, perhaps even giving other Asians a chance. It’s probably not a good idea to base a relationship on superficial physical criteria like skin, hair or eye color, which narrows down your choice of partners. Yes, physical attraction is difficult to consciously change but everyone’s looks fade over time and physical attraction is only a small part of successful long term relationships. At least, that’s been my experience.